What Consternation???

The Gamblers Anonymous meeting last night was missing the “usual suspects” since it was the first Tuesday of the month which is the business part of GA. This left a smaller then usual group in the meeting but the meeting was still very good. The Secretary has changed hands and the new Secretary is someone who isn’t very familiar with how to run a meeting so I did my best to assist. I try not to come across as all knowing, controlling or the “big shot” because this was my M.O. previously. I just wanted to help and I do need to lie back a little. I have a tendency of taking over and this isn’t part of the principles of the program. I was there to help and was very grateful I could add whatever I added.

There was a new person at the meeting and it is very important to have some semblance of order in the meeting especially for a person who enters the room for the first time. Most times as was the case with me the new member has a great deal of disarray in their life and having a meeting without that chaos is very important. I tried to maintain some type of order in the meeting and the new Secretary did do a very good job of keeping things flowing.

The new member had a very familiar story how gambling had destroyed their lives. They were certainly in the right room and hopefully they will see the importance of the program and come back for a second meeting. It is so sad to see people enter GA for the first time but this program can change people lives if they want change. I know I searched for this changed for a very long time and I am very grateful to have finally found a program of recovery. My life has changed for the better because of GA and I am eternally grateful.

I spent a few minutes with the new member listening and hopefully adding some words of wisdom. It would be very arrogant and egotistic of me to think I can save anyone which is why I like to listen. I don’t have the magic words but I am involved with a magical program. The problem for some people is they don’t stick around to experience this magic. In my over three years associated with the program I have witnessed some magical events and I continue to experience these in my life.

The meeting concluded and I headed home for the evening. I grabbed something to eat and watched a few minutes of television before turning in for the night. Amazingly I had little trouble falling asleep and staying asleep even though I was fixated on the morning meeting where I would learn whether or not I would be able to go to New Jersey. I slept very well and I decided to take the day off from working out because I wanted to arrive for the meeting at the requisite time.

I got up showered, dressed and made the 35 minute drive. I arrived on time and surprisingly the person I was to meet was also there on time. Things were going smoothly and I purposely made sure I had to “go” when I arrived but as fate would have it I wasn’t required to “go”. I can’t seem to get this right; when I don’t have to “go” I am made to “go” and when I do have to “go” I am NOT made to “go”. Oh well; this is yet another one of those things I cannot control and I have learned to “go” with the flow!! (Puns are definitely intended!!)

I walked into the office and as I mentioned everything seemed to be moving along very smoothly. I took it as a positive sign that the word “form” was mentioned and preparing of this “form” was in order. However; I was given no assurances that the “form” would be signed by an authorizing party. I sat through the filling out of the “form” and waited patiently. On a side note I knew that this “form” wasn’t the correct one but remained silent as not to appear a know it all. As it turns out this was indeed the incorrect form and there needed to be an additional authorizer of the form. This process took an hour and a half but I was very encouraged as I waited patiently. Finally after waiting almost two hours I was given the permission to travel to New Jersey and drive back with my family.

I don’t know what changed but this morning everything seemed to be very different and this difference was in the fact that everything was very positive. I was greeted with a smile and was talked to not talked at which was very good. All of the consternation, worry and ill will faded so quickly when I was given permission to travel to New Jersey. Yes, I had to write that again because it is so wonderful I get to be with my family in less then five days, YAY!!!!

It was interesting because I have conditions on my travel to New Jersey and they are I must have someone from the State Police in New Jersey sign my form along with attaching a business card acknowledging the fact that I am from California on parole visiting New Jersey. This isn’t a big deal because my family has a connection to a few people in the State Police Department. The other and final condition is that I am not allowed to enter any casino while I am in New Jersey or on my drive back to California.

This really does make sense because I am a compulsive gambler and even though my damage was done over the internet an exclusion from casinos does seem in order. Obviously I have no issue with either one of these conditions and really there could have been much more stringent condition which I also wouldn’t have had issues with. Once again I get to see my family and be with them as we drive across country. Great things do happen to those who wait and “The Power of Intention” does work wonders!!!

On my drive home I did call my wife and let her hear the good news to which she replied, “yay!!!” My son who was with my wife at the time also shouted out, “I told you Daddy would come!!” They were very excited and the next telephone call went to my mother who was with my daughter. I told my mother who was also very excited and then I personally told my daughter who let out a great big “hurray!!!” The family was very happy and when I got back to the office I purchased my airline ticket. On Monday I depart and land at one minute before midnight. I have a sneaking suspicion in spite of the late hour my children will be at the airport and I can’t wait to see them.

This was truly a great day and thankfully I didn’t lose focus on the big picture. My life is truly fantastic and in a short period of time I will be with my family. Wow; this part of a the journey is coming to an end and the another bright beautiful beginning will commence shortly!!!