No Competition

The day went by so quickly yesterday because I had so much to do; however; I have come to find out that the days go by at the same speed no matter the activity and it is up to me to get the most of the day. Hopefully I did get the most out of the day yesterday and hopefully I get the most out of everyday! The day did move along and I did find myself at the Monday Evening Gamblers Anonymous Speaker’s meeting as the Secretary for the first time. The Secretary positions are supposed to change hands every six months and this would mark the first meeting of my six month term. This meeting is a little different from most of the meetings in our area because it is a “Speaker’s” meeting which means one person speaks for the majority of the one hour meeting. Additionally this meeting only last one hour and we do our best to get in and get out in that hour time limit.

The Secretary of this meeting is responsible for “booking” the speakers and it is helpful if that person has a little time in the program. It would be difficult for a new member to be a Secretary in this meeting so it makes sense to have someone with time in the program. I don’t have a great deal of time as I am approaching my fourth year in Gamblers Anonymous but thankfully I continue to meet some many people in the program. This evening I asked a very special member to speak and I had never heard this member’s full story. This member joined the fellowship as I served my sentence but did participate in the bi-monthly GA meeting at “camp” even though this person only had nearly 30 days in the program. I found this to be amazing because the first time we met was when I was wearing all “orange” and to be that is the power of the program at work.

I was so impressed that this member not only came that time but came several other times as well. I realized that this person was very serious about their recovery and it is no surprise that they are very involved with the fellowship. I enjoyed this member tonight as I did get the full story.

I realize that most people are fixated about the “money” when they enter Gamblers Anonymous and few fail to realize that it isn’t about the money. Yes, many people have lost millions and others have lost a great deal less but I go back to the story I heard about a young man who was in the parking lot of a GA meeting after having shared that they lost $800. This may not seem like a great deal of money but the burden was so heavy on this member that they took their own life in the parking lot of the GA meeting. That story alone confirms to me that it doesn’t matter what dollar amount and really the amount is insignificant. I bring this up because this incredible member who spoke this evening did mention dollar amounts.

I attended a birthday celebration and one of the guidelines at this meeting addressed the mentioning of dollar amounts lost and won. This was frowned upon and I would have to agree. Of course this is my own opinion so take it for whatever it is worth. I feel if dollar amounts are mentioned than it becomes sort of a competition and those who are not in that “ballpark” may think they aren’t as bad and not need the fellowship. I know I need and want the fellowship because it does save my life each and every day so hopefully the “competition” of who lost what is set aside for what really matters which is recovering from a baffling insidious disease.

The meeting went well and I had to scold myself because I ran two minutes over. I was very impressed as to how many people were in attendance. I was attended the very first speaker meeting three years ago and at that meeting we had four people. Tonight the attendance quadrupled which is another testament of the GA Program. I was happy to be in attendance and hear this very powerful story knowing I am on the right road of recovery.

This morning I found myself at the gym for a very small 4 mile run. It is so strange how well I felt after I ran 24 miles 2 weeks ago and today how I labored through the small run. I realize this is all psychological and I am well prepared for Sunday’s marathon. I have to stay true to myself and my commitment to run to the best of my ability those 26.2 miles and I will. I do find it funny struggling through a run which is a mere warm-up but all those aches and pains of the past few weeks are starting to subside.

I had another very busy day and I was running all around today. This is so cool that I can stay so busy doing different things every day. I was originally brought on as a marketing consultant but my priorities have shifted and I am doing a little bit of everything. Incidentally, yesterday during the meeting when I potentially saw one of my biggest responsibilities disappear I had two very interesting conversations that would fill that void. These can fill that void and also enhance my day to day activities. Of course, I will continue to address life one day at a time and I know whatever does happens will happen for the very best!