Rhythm of the Day

My days have finally found a rhythm. Now the pessimist in me wonders what will happen next to destroy this rhythm. However, the optimist in me really enjoys this new found flow. This rhythm has coincided with working in the kitchen. Today marked my 6th consecutive day working. Remember this is a volunteer job so when I want to take a day off I just don’t volunteer. Right now I don’t want to take off and disrupt my routine.

Sometimes routines can get well routine and boring. However, finding a routine in a place like this is very welcomed. This makes my days go by faster and I am all for quick days. The sooner the days pass the sooner I will be back with my family.

I need to digress regarding my family. This week marked the first day of school for my daughter and son. This would also mark my son’s first day in kindergarten. It really seems like yesterday that my wife and I were taking my daughter to her first day in kindergarten. It is hard to believe this was 3 short years ago. So many things have happened and I am so blessed and grateful to still have my family.

I am very disappointed in myself that I couldn’t be there to witness my son’s first day in kindergarten as I did for my daughter. I am sure he did well and will continue to do well. He has been attending pre-school since he was two years old. He has always done well in so the transition should be fine. My daughter had also attended pre-school since she was 6 months old and there was no crying or separation anxiety on her part when she started kindergarten. I am very anxious to receive a letter regarding how my daughter and son did during their first week in their new school.

I know everything is different for my family but I hope and pray with the beginning of school will mark a new rhythm in their days, I suspect everyone will find their routine and hopefully their days will be busy. The business should occupy their time and the days, weeks, months, and years will pass soon enough.

Back to the rhythm of my day. Today started with the wakeup tap at 3:45am. I proceeded to work in the kitchen as the “oven guy” once again. We did not have nearly the help we had yesterday but everything went well. The only issue I had was the dirtiness of the oven caused by the grits and potatoes. I don’t understand how it happened but the ovens were filthy and it took a long time to clean them.

Here is an inside story and yet another reminder of my beautiful wife. My wife has a habit of always running the faucet when she is cleaning up the kitchen and it always drives me crazy. This means when there is nothing in the sink and she is either wiping the table or counter the faucet is running constantly with nothing in the sink. Well, I have come full circle because the faucet is constantly running in the kitchen here. This is done to save time and even though there is nothing in the sink and nothing to clean, the faucet is still running. As soon as I saw this, I instantly thought of my beautiful wife and a smile came to my face. There are so many constant reminders of my wonderful family. Most times these reminders bring a smile to my face and some other times they bring tears to my eyes. These reminders can be something someone says or something I say in passing or the television. For instance on Monday, I was sort of vegging out and glancing at the television and two thoughts came to mind. The channel was tuned to a golf match and it was a match Tiger Woods had won. I thought about how my daughter would say “Tiger Woods is my daddy’s friend” when she was younger. Then the channel was switched to the U.S. Tennis Open and they were doing a celebration of Andre Aggassi’s career because he had just lost which marked his retirement. They shared a scene with Andre’s 5 or 6 year old son and I had tears in my eyes thinking about my 5 year old son.

I hope and pray I maintain this emotional connection to my family. I understand prison can harden a person due to the nature of prison. In fact, many of these inmates have been to prison on several different occasions and have no sense of family. In a place like this I need to desensitize myself to the surroundings but I can’t be insensitive to the wonderful things in my life. I need to be reminded constantly as to how good my life is. I am in a very bad place physically but mentally I continue to get stronger each and everyday.

I just received the mail and for an odd reason all the mail came late (7:20pm). It usually comes around 2:15pm but some strange things are going on. I won’t get into these things today, maybe another time. I received one piece of mail today from my amazing younger sister. The letter was postmarked August 28th and in the letter she wrote me about my stepfather. On my birthday at 5:00am he had a heart attack and needed to be resuscitated. He had one artery blocked and thankfully he is out of the hospital doing well. My stepfather is in his early 50’s and he is a really caring person. I pray everything will continue to workout. My poor mother has had a very rough year and I pray for her serenity.

One of the many unfortunate things about being here is not being able to communicate daily with my family. My stepfather’s heart attack happened two weeks ago and this was the first I had heard about it. It seems like my news cycle from my family and friends is two weeks old. I fully understand even though I am in here and it appears my life has somewhat stopped. All of my family and friend’s lives continue on. Life does continue outside these four walls and things will happen over the course of the next few years.


I also understand there is nothing I can do to control these events, but it pains me to be so far behind. Once I move on from here at the reception center I will be able to have telephone contact and I will be able to receive visitors. But right now it is very frustrating and I don’t understand why it has to be this way. In many ways it feels like I have been isolated from the outside world especially my family and friends. I get dribs and drabs of news whenever the channel is turned to it. I so appreciate all the letters I do receive because this is my only connection to the outside world. Without these letters I would have felt like I was placed on another planet with a bunch of convicts and left to fend for myself. I do know this is only TEMPORARY and I would like to fast forward to the next stop but I cannot. I need to concentrate on the rhythm of my day and whatever happens on the outside is going to happen no matter what. Right now my prayers and thoughts are with my stepfather and mom. Justin, I hope you are recovering well. Please get well soon.