Birthday with the Family, Oh Yes!!!!

I had one of those very vivid dreams last night. This dream seemed so real I woke up with my heart in my throat and was very relieved to realize it was only a dream. The dream had me back at fire camp due to a “clerical error” in calculating my release date. I could see the colors (or lack there of!) of the fire camp and some of my former inmates were still at the fire camp. I had to serve another six months because my release date was calculated incorrectly. The odd aspect of the dream was me going directly to the fire camp by passing all those previous stops in between. In fact in the dream I was dressed in regular clothes waiting on the orange clothing.

I have not had a dream like this since my release almost six months ago. Yes, it is approaching the six month mark (officially it will be six months on Wednesday) and my how this time is flying by. I think I had this dream because I have been thinking about my former roommate who will be released next week. I remember saying to him when I departed that he had only six months remaining and those six months would go quickly. I’m not sure if the six months have gone as quickly for my former roommate as they have for me but in any case his release date is next Monday.

I was up in the early hours thanking God it was only dream because this is something I would label a “nightmare” as opposed to a dream. Thankfully I know as long as I stay focused in recovery my life continues to improve and I will only enter these types of places in dreams. As I woke up I looked at the clock next to the bed and realized it was exactly the time of my birth 43 years ago. Yes, today I turned 43 and it is the best birthday I have had in a long time.

I was very vague with my wife in what I wanted to do today and really we didn’t do much. However; what we did do was be all together in the same place for my birthday which was a huge departure from the previous two years. My stepfather summed it when he said, “I bet you today is a lot better than the last two birthdays!!” Fortunately I no longer bet but that statement is correct.

Two years ago I was in Central California sitting on bunk inside prison dorm with 200 other inmates and last year I was in Santa Barbara on a fire line with over 200 other firefighting inmates. Both years I made it a point not to tell anyone it was my birthday because really it was just another day I needed to get through. In recovery I got through those two birthdays hopefully a better person and today I just enjoyed every moment.

I was greeted early this morning by both my daughter and son. This is a big deal for my daughter because it cut into her weekend sleeping. My son is always coming into our bedroom in the early hours but it is always great to see him. We played around as a family and leisurely made our way downstairs. I wanted to go for a bicycle ride with my son and daughter first thing this morning. We rode our bicycles to a bagel shop and the local health food store. We purchased some bagels and other breakfast items and headed back home.

I purposely took the long way home convincing my son and daughter that this way was better than going up the big hill. I wanted as much time with them on the bicycle and we had a very good time. There was some complaining because the day was heating up and the temperature did go over the 100 degree mark. However; we pedaled our way home and had a wonderful brunch as a family.

The key for today was being a family. I thought about going to the beach and taking our bicycles but I didn’t want to drive so we just stayed home most of the day. I watched some of the Little League World Series with my son and some the golf match as well. We sat together and when we sit together we always enjoy ourselves. I did make my way back upstairs where the three of us (my daughter, son and me) where we had an impromptu game of baseball in the hallway. There was a great deal of laughter as we played baseball with one of those baseball pillows. This is what a birthday is meant to be and once again it was all about the family.

There weren’t any elaborate parties and we didn’t have to go here or there just the way I wanted it. I didn’t want to put any demands on my wife with making dinner or any else which would have taken away from the family. I received telephone calls from everyone in my family which is always very nice and I couldn’t help but to smile all day knowing how from I have come over the past few years.

Prior to my sentence the year I turned 40 I had many things circulating around me but my wife had a very nice 40th birthday party with friends. Today I didn’t want any parties I wanted to spend time with the family. I know I can never get back the time I lost in the past two years but I can make the very best of what time I have today. The best way I know is just being. Life does come quickly and sometimes there is more value in seemingly doing nothing than running around like a chicken with its head cut-off. I will take this doing nothing any day of the week as long as my family is with me.

Laughing, riding our bicycles and having a lovely dinner out were the perfect birthday for me. I received a very nice gift from my family; an Ipod. I have wanted one of these for awhile and now I can run to my hearts content listen to tunes. My daughter gave me the rundown on how to operate this piece of electronics and now I just have to download some songs. I even received an arm band so I can place the Ipod in the arm band as I run. This was a great gift but was not necessary because I had all I would ever want standing beside me in my wife, daughter and son. It truly was a remarkable birthday in every way imaginable; my life is incredible!!!!!