Unexpected (or not?) Consequence

My son has repeatedly asked me if I can manage his Little League baseball team. My son started asked me when we were in New Jersey and has continued over the last month. I told my son I would be more than happy to Manage or Coach his team; however; in the back of my mind I thought this wouldn’t be as easy as just signing up to manage. My suspicions came true as I was filling out the application to manage the team when the “infamous” question; “Have you ever be convicted of a felony,” arose. I am steadfast in my recovery and the foundation of this recovery is honesty so I could not ignore this question or answer it dishonestly. I had to answer the question honestly no matter what happened next.

I did answer the question honestly and yes, it hasn’t been easy to just sign-up to manage a Little League baseball team. I spoke with one of the League’s Board Members who asked me about my felony. I explained and apparently a felony does not necessarily exclude a person from managing or coaching but it does complicate the process. I had to explain the felony and although this can be uneasy it is an unfortunate part of my past that I cannot erase as much as I would like it erased. The Board Member was very thankful for my candor; however; this does not make the decision any easier.

It really comes down to perception and there isn’t one person involved with the league that knows me. I am unknown commodity and the last thing anyone wants to do is make a decision which would make the League look bad. I do understand and I also understand this decision is completely out of my control. I can only do what I can and trust and believe everything will work out for the best. I do want to be involved with my son and his involvement with the League. This can be accomplished without being a Manager or Coach and I know everything will work out for the best.

This brings to mind the “Girl Scout Cookie incident” of three years ago when questions arose of my wife and additionally the purchasing of the Girl Scout cookies from my daughter. It really is all about public perception especially for those people who are on the outside looking in. I know this is yet another consequence of my actions and another “pothole” in my past. As I mentioned I can’t do much about the decision which will be made all I can do is stay focused in my recovery.
I am focused in my recovery and I suspect there will be more of these incidents to come. It is entirely up to me to take these situations in the proper vane which is exactly what I am doing. The past is gone but it will rear its ugly head in a somewhat unlikely event but these are the things I must deal with appropriately.

The other situation happened as I volunteered for the California Council on Problem Gambling and I am steadfast in my recovery to continue to move forward one step at a time in a positive manner. My head is held high and I know these are minor bumps in the road. I do feel bad for my son who only wants me involved with him and has no idea about the baggage I am carrying. Yes, I served my sentence but the sentence does continue but life will continue to go on and it is a wonderful life.

All of this has transpired over the past few days and I should have an answer in a few days. The evaluations for my son’s league are next week and I will be there no matter the decision. I had so many thoughts over the past few days and all I can say is thank God for the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Without this program in my life I would be completely lost and I probably wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to apply to be a Manager for my son’s Little League team.

The GA Program is amazing and this amazement was witnessed last night at the Monday evening GA Speaker’s meeting. The speaker was a person I have known for awhile through the GA Program and someone who definitely “gets it”. When I heard that this speaker would appear at the Monday evening meeting I “had” to be in attendance; I do believe there are people in GA who are leaders in recovery and this was one of those people. I have clung to people like the speaker last night and this makes my recovery that much better. The GA Program is a program of people helping other people overcome their compulsive gambling addiction and I am eternally grateful and thankful for the program and the awesome fellowship within the program.

The speaker did not disappoint and even came prepared with handouts and charts. I did learn something and I continue to learn as I progress in recovery. It is certainly a progression in recovery for me because it does keep getting better and better each and everyday.

This morning I was much too tired to workout and decided a day off would serve me well; I was correct and instead of working out I woke up my children early. I woke them up because this was the last day of summer vacation for them as school starts tomorrow. I did take advantage of the day as I spent the entire day with my family since the summer is ending for our children. We had a wonderful day going to breakfast at a “favorite” restaurant of our children and going to the movies where we took in the “American Girl---Kit Kittredge” movie. It was an exceptional day through and through and I am blessed to be able to share the day with my family.