Fantastic Birthday Greetings

As we pulled into the driveway last night from our very lovely dinner I noticed several birthday greetings hanging from the garage door. These were from our dear friends and were so thoughtful. I am continually blessed with so much goodness in my life in so many different aspects. These are great friends who have children the same ages as our children and most of the handiwork on the birthday greetings was done by these wonderful children.

I was very surprised to see these greetings and it brought an even bigger smile to my face. This was a very special birthday in the fact that I was with my family the entire day and we are a family all in the same place for the first time in two years. I am so happy that everything is coming together very nicely.

This is the beauty of recovery when I do the right things somehow the right things begin to happen. The first step occurred over three years ago when I entered that Gamblers Anonymous meeting for the first time in my life. I was well overdue to attend a meeting having denied my addiction for over 20 years but it is never too late. I have always been blessed well before recovery but was too much into myself to realize what I had. This had been taken away from me as I served my sentence and thankfully I am finally realized how wonderful my life really is.

In Gamblers Anonymous the combo book states that “knowing why we gambled is not important” but this I believe is to get the newcomer to focus on not gambling then moving forward in recovery. Patience is a key virtue of the program and thankfully I understand the keys of the program and I do know why I gambled which can be summed up in the “ego” phrase of “because I could”. My damn entitlement led me down the road to disaster but through GA which begets humility I am slowly getting better. I am not entitled to take away the future for my wife, children and myself who are why I live one day at a time. These days are incredible and the very nice touch of having birthday greetings on the garage door brought chills to me.

This morning would mark my last week with my current employer and in spite of all that has happened over the six months I still want to do the right things. I have some unfinished business which I hope to clean up this week before I start my new job next week. These are very kind people and I don’t want to leave them stranded. I do have an obligation to provide for my family and my current position left me no choice. It is very difficult to provide for my family when I was not getting paid. I understand money is not the end all be all but it is necessary to function in this society. If things were going well with my current employer I wouldn’t be looking to move on but I have to do what is best and moving on is what it is best.

I was at the gym this morning and had a very nice run. I have noticed an improvement in my running over the past few weeks as the “easy runs” are certainly easy runs. I ran 9 miles this morning and it was one of those days where I could run forever; however I decided to stick to the training program and stopped at the 9th mile. At this point it was on to the office to complete some tasks. It really is ashamed what is happening because these are good people who will be out of work in the next few months if things don’t change. The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. This is what is happening with my current employer. Change has to occur but unfortunately this change is very slow in coming.

I also understand through recovery that there are certain things I can control and certain things I can’t control. I can only “advise” but it is not up to me to make the decisions and my decision is to move on to a better opportunity. I wish everyone well and know things will work out for the very best.

This evening I attended the Monday evening GA Speaker’s meeting and once again these meetings are very powerful. The speaker this evening was a person who I have known ever since entering the program over three years ago and a person who most certainly “gets it” in everyway possible. The stories of everyone on how they got to GA are very moving and this was one of those stories.

Compulsive gambling is very destructive and has the ability to tear families apart much like other addictions. The main stream media doesn’t give compulsive gambling much “play” for whatever reason but there is some heartbreaking stories. Unfortunately the list seems endless; however; there is hope when a person enters recovery and the speaker last night shared their experience, strength and hope. As always I was very happy to have attended the meeting.