Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Last Day of Rest

Today is the last day before getting back on the road to New Jersey. The visit with my sister and her wonderful family is going great. She lives in a wonderful area and has two very special children. Thirteen years ago my sister made a decision to attend graduate school at the University of Denver and this decision not only proved brilliant; she hasn't left the Denver area since and met her fantastic husband.

She has a remarkable husband who loves her so very much and like I mentioned two very special young children. My sister's house is full of love and she is a great mother. She is not only a great mother but a great sister to me. We have always had a very good relationship but somewhere over the past sixteen months in spite of my "situation" our relationship has gotten better. She is one of those wonderful blessings I have in my life.

I am so happy I have been given this "bonus time" to share this trip with my family and to spend quality time with some very special people. There are so many very special people in my life that have been there but I took them for granted over the years. Now there are also some very special people who have come into to my life very recently and I am forever grateful for all of these blessings.

My recovery Program has taught me so very much and one of those things is to NOT take anything for granted. I try each and every day NOT to take anything for granted because each day is a gift. I have been given a very special gift in our trip across country. Yes, the circumstances surrounding the trip are not the greatest and yes, I caused this mess. However; I am trying everything in my power to get better and to recover from my horrible compulsive gambling addiction. I know I am on the right road to recovery because I have so many people who have stood by me through this very trying time.

I know my life will be forever changed in the next two weeks but the only change will be the loss of my freedom. My life was forever changed when I entered my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting and started to work the Program. My life will continue to get better as long as I work the Program. My life will collapse if I stop working the Program and my life will cease to exist.

I don't want this to happen; even though my freedom will be taken away from me very soon I know I have gotten my life and when my freedom is restored in whatever period of time the judge deems appropriate I know life will be significantly better than it ever has been. However; the only way it can continue to get better is if I work my recovery Program to the best of my ability and I intend to keep doing this one day at a time.

Today we had a great time at local park watching the children play with one another. Afterwards my sister was kind enough to purchase a "Colorado" style pizza. As an aside; for those of you who know me know I don't go nuts about food in fact I am an extraordinarily picky eater and I am a vegetarian. I do have some downfalls when it comes to food and pizza is one of them. The "Colorado" style pizza is one of my all-time favorite foods and each time I have come to visit my sister we seem to have this pizza. Today was no exception; I don't know whether it is the mozzarella cheese or the "mountain" (thick) crust but this pizza is great. I savored every minute of the pizza it truly was a very simple pleasure which I am so very happy to have experienced once again.

My sister was such a great hostess on this trip and I love her very much. I know she is in the right place and I am so very happy for her. She is a great person and I thank her so very much for a wonderful stay.

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