Happy Thanksgiving 2008!!!

Today would be the first Thanksgiving in two years that I spent the day with my family. I don’t believe there are adequate words that can describe how much I missed them over those two years. My main true focus was just getting through those “special” holidays and getting through each and every day of my 19 ½ month absence. I can vividly remember taking that deep breath of day one of my “sojourn” and saying “I can get through this one day at a time.” I did get through the very difficult part one day at a time and those very difficult days such as Thanksgiving, my wife’s birthday, Christmas and the birthdays of my children. I missed two years worth of these days and now I have been a gift of a rebirth which really started the day I entered the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Without GA in my life I would have nothing to show for it and thankfully with GA in my life I have so much and more!

Last night was strange because my wife wasn’t stressing out about the upcoming Thanksgiving meal. This used to be the course of business and pies were being baked into the wee hours of the morning but not this year. My wife had everything under control and I think she was missing a bit of the stress. That may sound strange and I am sure it really is strange but I have seen some people flourish is stress induced situations and through the years my wife has always come through. Of course my wife has always came through for me and has been there with me through this very stressful situation so making pies into the wee hours of the morning is really no big deal!!

It was so cool waking up with my wife next to me and hearing the pitter patter of my son’s feet as he trampled down the stairs for his normal off school day ritual of breakfast and cartoons. I stayed in bed extra longer listening to my wife breath because that is a phenomenal way to start Thanksgiving Day. I had a smile the entire time and after a few minutes of listening I made my way downstairs after kissing my wife lightly on the forehead wishing her a happy Thanksgiving. I did make my way to where my son was stationed in the family room watching the usual cartoons. I snuggled up against him while wishing him a happy Thanksgiving.

This is the way the day should start and yes, I missed this so much over the past two years. I had no desire to make my way for a morning run because I wanted to spend every moment with my family and it was raining outside!! The rain did add extra warmth to the morning and it was so great sitting next to my son as I had him change the channel to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade. We just sat there watching the parade and my wife joined us a few minutes. My daughter who really appreciates her sleep wasn’t really expected for at least another hour.

We didn’t have to worry about getting anywhere and it was a blissful morning. I did start making the Happy Thanksgiving telephone calls early to my family. I had called my younger sister last night and called the rest of my family this morning. I spoke with everyone and I spoke with a few dear friends. There are two dear friends who made my holidays during my sentence so special and I had to call them to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. These are incredible people and they made it a point to get me through those special days and by God they had so much to do with getting me through those days and I am eternally grateful.

The morning went by so quickly and it was time to prepare for a lovely dinner with exceptional friends. I continue to be blessed with incredible people in my life and I am so fortunate to be able to spend my first Thanksgiving on the “other side” with these dear friends. The dinner preparation went well and I was sensing a little of the stress that my wife seems to crave so I poured her a glass of wine to “calm the nerves”. My wife did ask me if I were going to have a glass of wine today since it was a holiday but I explained to her that it probably wouldn’t be a big deal if I did have a glass of wine I just don’t feel comfortable until after next March. I made a pact with myself and I am sticking to this pact. I realize this is nothing but abstinence; however; it seems like the proper course of action under these “circumstances”.

Our friends made their way over and we found ourselves outside for an impromptu game of touch football pitting family against family. What a wonderful way to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends; and not having to worry about some ridiculous football game on television when I watch my son and daughter play the game of football. The game wasn’t without controversy but this was more of children being children and nothing else. I had a wonderful time and it didn’t matter that our set eating time was delayed by an hour. I had told my wife and our dear friends that it didn’t matter when we ate and we would eat when we would eat! There is no reason to stress because the only thing that matters is that we are all together for the day.

Everything was prepared and we were ready to dig in to the Thanksgiving feast. Our Thanksgiving feast was missing a turkey and yes, this was by design and no, it wasn’t my design. It is true I don’t eat turkey or any other land dwelling animal but it was the choice of our dear friend to prepare a chicken instead of the traditional turkey since it went over well last year in their home. Obviously this didn’t matter to me since I had prepared my own self styled Thanksgiving feast in some seared halibut.

The table was packed with food and around the table were outstanding people. I took a moment prior to everyone digging in to say a word of thanks to everyone around the table. I didn’t want to get too emotional but I wanted to say how much I love everyone around the table and I am so happy to be here after being gone for the past two years. As I completed my words of thanks we went around the table having everyone say their words of thanks which basically centered on family, friends and the bountiful feast in front of everyone.

The dinner went very well and just like that Thanksgiving dinner 2008 was over in a flash. These are the moments that go by so quickly but hopefully I did my best to experience each moment in depth. I continue to be blessed and I am incredibly fortunate to have been given a second chance. I am doing my best doing the right things because I have an incredible life through and through.