World's Worst?

I could be the “world’s worst” sponsor since of the two people I sponsor I speak with one rarely (this person completely understands recovery and is immersed in the Gamblers Anonymous so the maintenance is very low practically non-existent) and the other I speak with daily but I can’t seem to convince them to get to a meeting. I have an incredible sponsor who does more listening than speaking and by that same token there is more guidance as opposed to directive. This approach continues to work in our sponsor and sponsoree relationship so I do my best to continue this with those I sponsor. I do realize that everyone is different and I should not treat everyone with the same approach. My one sponsoree doesn’t need me so this works great but the other sponsoree relies on me that my listening approach may need fine tuning.

I have always been a big believer in treating adults as adults. I utilized this approach when I managed people at work and it did pay dividends. I did realize in my managerial duties that people come in all shapes, sizes and personalities so once again treating everyone the same may not be the best practice. It took me awhile to learn how to treat certain people but I was never the type of manger that would say “it is my way or the highway!” I rarely do this with my children but there are instances where I have no choice and this is where I could be heading with my sponsoree.

The Gamblers Anonymous Program continues to save my life each and every day which is why I owe the program so much. My sponsoree doesn’t have the desire to gamble which is good; however; there is another part of the program that brings all aspects of life into focus that my sponsoree seems to be missing. I can’t and won’t force anyone to attend a meeting but there are times I would like to drag people into a meeting. The only requirement for membership in Gamblers Anonymous is the desire to stop gambling and I fear with all the extraneous matter going on in the life of my sponsoree that there is no attention paid to this desire. I realize this could be the beginning of a very slippery slope and I do wonder if there is more I can do?

I guess all I can do is my best and it really isn’t in my personality to tell people what to do even if it is for their own good. I take the more passive approach and make “suggestions” so whether or not these “suggestions” are taken I really don’t know. I know people in GA who have a number of years associated with the program that is “their way or the highway” which is expressed to the people they sponsor. My first experience with GA happened over 25 years ago when a member called me at the behest of my parents and “told” me what I needed to do. Of course I did not head this advice and did it my way which led to some fairly horrible outcomes. That person was correct in everything I was told but I wasn’t going to listen no matter what. As I mentioned this is not in my nature to use this tact so I will continue doing what I know best which is listening and making those “suggestions”.

I had taken the “wellness” pills and my cold/flu has not gotten any worse. I’m not sure if it has gotten any better but I will take it any day. Since I missed my normal run yesterday and I wasn’t feeling any worse I did make my way to the gym. Yesterday I had conjured up a way to make up for the lost workout of yesterday. All I had to do was add 33% more to the three of my workouts and I wouldn’t miss any miles for the week. Yes, I know I have a problem but it is so much better than the previous problem!! I did run 12 miles this morning and it only hurt when I took a sip of water. My breathing was great and I had to sweat out any toxins. I normally sweat a great deal but when I am battling some type of sickness I sweat even more. I was drenched by the end of the run and feeling good.

Normally I would take a shower at the gym but once again there wasn’t any hot water to take a shower. I have never seen a place that has had so many problems with the hot water and I think the same people who did the installs at the prisons must have done the install at the gym!!! Hot water does appear to be optional so I had to make my way home after the workout a sweaty mess. I had plenty of time to go home and get to my appointment which was literally in the middle of nowhere. I had a midday appointment with another facility and as I approached I started to have flashbacks about fire camp. As I drove a “fire bus” filled with inmate/firefighters passed me on the opposite side of the road. No, it wasn’t my old buddies from camp; it was from another camp which wasn’t far from where my appointment was. In fact; I passed an entrance to a fire camp a few miles from my appointment.

I pulled into the appointment and had to walk up a large hill. As I walked up I thought I was back in fire camp because the layout was very similar. I was curious what this facility was before it became a treatment facility so I enquired. Much to my suspicion it had been a youth correctional camp back in the 1980’s and the treatment facility had taken it over. They did spruce it up a little but there was a definite feel of institutionalism that I felt.

I did instantly lose my appetite as I entered the “dining/chow hall” for lunch. Yes, I may have been having flashbacks but the upside meant I would be able to depart anytime I wanted. I didn’t stay very long and made my rounds after meeting a few people. I was able to depart anytime I wanted and I walked back down the hill; got in my car and drove back to the office. I have to admit that the setup was conducive for recovery but it was much too close to home for me!!