Bountiful Blessings

Last night right before we arrived at my mother's house my daughter could not contain herself. She was so excited when we reached the exit off of the freeway to my mother's house. My daughter kept saying outloud; "I can't wait to see Grandma, I can't wait to see Grandma." This went on the entire 7 minute ride from the exit. My daughter knew her best buddy in the whole world her cousin would be there but she was very focused on her Grandmother.

My mom and my daughter have a very special bond and it is so nice to see how this bond has grown over the 8 years of my daughter's life. I don't know if living so far away from her has affected this bond but I do suspect it has something to do with it in a very positive manner. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and I know my daughter cherishes every minute with her grandmother.

We pulled into the driveway and my daughter ran to the backyard towards my mother and greeted with a big hello hug. My daughter was so excited to her and then she set her focus on her cousin. She quietly went up to her cousin and said hello; from that moment on the two were inseparable. My daughter and her cousin are 10 months apart; my daughter is 10 months younger. They always enjoy their time together and the two of them get along so well. My sister was so kind to let my niece (my daughter's cousin) stay the week at my mother's house while we are here. In fact; my daughter will be getting some bonus time with her cousin next week while my wife and I are back in California.

My dad will be coming in next weekend he will get to see all of his grandchildren in one place for the second time in a little over two years. The last time was at his 60th birthday celebration in Florida (where my Dad lives) and all of us made the trip. Unfortunately due to my "status" I will miss my Dad by a few days. I haven't seen my father since all of this happened and I know of all the people out there he is the one I have hurt the most. I know there will be a time where will get together and see one another but at least he will get to see my children and all of his grandchildren when he is up in New Jersey next week.

My son was in heaven last night because his favorite person on the face of the earth was at the picnic; this would be his big "boy cousin". My nephew who is an outstanding young man; he plays so well with my five year old son and even though there is an 8 year difference they have a great time together. My son loves to hang out with older boys and he loves to play any kind of sport; as long as the person is playing the sport with my son it doesn't matter who they are because this is what my son wants to do most. It was so nice to see them interact and I am blessed to have such wonderful nieces and nephews. My immediate family is a very large blessing in my life and my extended family is another huge blessing in my life.

A quick story about last night; my daughter and her cousin slept (well they were supposed to sleep but that didn't happen) together last night but some how managed to stay awake for most of the night. My mom was playing Chinese Checkers with them at 2:00 in the morning and after that my daughter and her cousin stayed awake just talking. At about 5:15 am we were all waken up with a scream from my daughter. Apparently the ceiling fan in the room where my daughter and niece were sleeping in malfunctioned. There was a spark and the fact that the two of them were still awake at this hour; they saw the spark and it really freaked out my daughter.

My daughter called for my Mom not me and not my wife her grandmother. She knows this is grandma's house and she wanted grandma. Grandma came into the room and tried to console my daughter. Fortunately no one was hurt and there was no damage; also no one could figure out what happened but this ceiling fan has officially been decommissioned. After my mom tried to console my daughter I went in and talked to her. Where I learned she wasn't sleeping but just talking with her cousin.

I did my best to tell my daughter the fan had been disconnected and this wouldn't happen again. Yes, as I have mentioned before my daughter is a major worry wart and this little episode certainly does not help her cause. She did get to sleep for a few hours of sleep but she was ready to go to the park with my mom, her cousin and her brother. My daughter did crash early this evening because she was exhausted.

Another one of the blessings that have been bestowed upon me is the Gamblers Anonymous Program. This evening I attended a GA meeting in New Jersey. I had heard mixed reviews about GA on this side of the country but I heard the meeting I attended tonight was a very good meeting. The person who told me this was a good meeting is someone I respect highly and is a regular attendee at the meeting and they were absolutely correct. It was a great meeting.

This meeting was step meeting which is a little different from a regular meeting. At a step meeting we discuss one of the twelve steps of recovery at length and at the end of the meeting if there is time we do regular therapy/sharing. This being the seventh month the group was working the seventh step; Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. We discussed this step at length and even though there were only seven people in attendance this was a STRONG meeting.

When I state STRONG I mean there was a great deal of recovery in the room. There were some very strong members in attendance and I was so happy I attended. Normally they get between 18 to 20 members but this being a holiday weekend the attendance was down but that didn't matter to me.

I have only been to one other step meeting in my area and it was a great meeting but it was so nice to be at a step meeting with people who have significant time and recovery. One member has 34 years in the Program; another member has 20 years and few others had 6 years; I was the baby of the group and it felt great. The meeting last and hour and half with no break. This format worked great and we had some time for regular therapy/sharing at the end. I did share my story and all of the members came up to me at the end of the meeting and were so wonderful. I received many hugs and handshakes; I also received a few telephone numbers. These were great people helping other (me) people with a compulsive gambling problem. The Program was working tonight.

I stayed awhile after the meeting talking with some fellow members and I do hope to attend another meeting while I am here in New Jersey. There is a meeting on Friday where a member is celebrating 25 years in the Program and hopefully I will get the opportunity to attend. If not; I do know where to find a wonderful meeting with some outstanding people.

It is a bit funny (maybe that is not the right word) that 22 years ago I received a telephone call from a member in GA when I lived in New Jersey and he scared the bejesus out of me enough for me to stay abstinent from gambling for a few years but I was so scared I didn't enter the GA room until 21 years later. I thought GA in New Jersey was scary but tonight completely disproved my fear. I was so wrong it is quite the opposite. These are great people helping one another and I am so glad I got this opportunity to dispel a myth I had for a very long time.

I have so many blessings in my life and it doesn't matter what happens in the next week and half because as long as I work my recovery the way it should be worked I will have these blessing and more for a long time to come.

Finally; on my drive back to my mom's house from the meeting in a thunderstorm something that has never happened before happened to me; I got a ticket. No, it was not a speeding ticket and it was not a ticket for running a red light. I got a ticket for making a right hand turn at red light. I made a complete stop and looked to my right where there were no cars coming and proceeded to make the right hand turn.

Apparently there were two signs which stated; "NO TURN ON RED" which I did not see. As I made the right hand turn on red there was an unmarked police car directly behind me who immediately pulled me over. I did not fight the ticket; I was very respectful to the police officer but he gave me the ticket none the less. I am not sure how much it will cost because it didn't state this on the ticket itself. I need to go on-line tomorrow and find out how much it will cost.

As the officer handed me the ticket I apologized once again but this didn't even ruin the high I had from the meeting. I was not angry at anyone including myself; I made a mistake and this police officer had witnessed this mistake. Yes, this is the first time I have ever received a ticket of any kind in the state of New Jersey. I have gotten tickets in Nevada and Ohio before but never in New Jersey.

Things like this happen and I accept it. When I find out how much the ticket costs I will pay it and be done with it. Yes, it was unfortunate but I had such a great day that this minor inconvenience is not going to ruin. I thank the GA Program for teaching me what matters most in my life which is working my recovery. I am a grateful compulsive gambler happily in recovery.