October is an extremely busy month for birthdays and anniversaries in my family. Tuesday was my wife’s and our 14th anniversary, Wednesday was my father’s wife’s birthday, and today is my mother’s birthday. This is the first time EVER, I didn’t at the very least call my mother on the phone to wish her a happy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!
She has had a very tough year and a half with those events she had no control over. First, it was me and my horrible transgressions, then it was my grandmother’s illness which has subsequently caused my grandmother to move out of her home and into my mother’s house. Finally, my stepfather suffered a heart attack a month and a half ago. All these events are enough to make anyone lose their sanity, but thankfully she has not and in my case she has been a Godsend.
No parent envisions their child going to prison and it is a very sad state when this happens. To say I disappointed her was an understatement. However, very early on when my transgression became known to my mother, she has offered incredible support. This has helped me in so many different ways and now I receive at least one piece of mail from her each day. She is my channel to the outside world and to my family. She is in constant communication with my wife and from the reports I have received; their relationship has never been better. I firmly believe good can come of a bad situation and in many, many ways this continues to happen.
My mom went to visit my sister in Colorado last week and this was certainly a much needed respite. I received letters from both my mom and my sister today. It sounds like everyone was having a great time. Both my mom and sister are very special people and I am so blessed to have them be a part of my life.
I wish my mother a very Happy Birthday and I do hope she gets to see my children for the first time on her actual birthday. This is another good part of this bad situation. Yes, I did believe there are silver linings in every dark cloud and I do know everything will work out great. Happy Birthday, Mom, I hope you had a wonderful day!
Now it has been three months since that faithful sentencing day in July. Three months is one-quarter of one year which means if I do serve the entire two years of my sentence, I have one and three-quarter years left to serve. Looking at it as 1-¾ years doesn’t seem like a long time and in some ways it is not. The full term of the sentence would be two years and hopefully, I will live to at least the age of 80, so this sentence would mean that one fortieth of my life I was away from my family. This is a very small percentage of my life. It is what I do with the other percentage which will define me as a good or bad person. As long as I stay in recovery, I am well on my way to being a good person and keeping all the wonderful people in my life.
In other ways, 1 ¾ years is a long time especially when I think of it in terms of my children’s lives. My daughter is 8 years old and my son is 5 years old. Obviously, the percentage is greater in their lives and it pains me to think of how much I have missed in these past three months and in the remaining 21 months. They will grow physically and mentally in this time. However, they are surrounded by so much love, I know everything will be great. Yes, I will miss their 9th and 6th birthdays and I have already missed my son’s first day in kindergarten along with him losing his first tooth. These are wonderful moments in my children’s lives, but I do know that I will be there when this sentence is over and this will be for a lifetime.
Time continues to pass and lately it is passing quicker and quicker. Soon I will move on (hopefully, next week) from where I am currently housed the reception center to my next destination. Once I get there and if it is a fire camp, I will have one more stop on my journey. I have gone from the County Jail to the Reception center to hopefully the Fire Camp Station Training center and hopefully to an actual Fire Camp Station. I am halfway through my stops and when it is all over I will run (not walk) as fast as I can to hug my family and to enjoy each and everyday together.
This is officially the second Thursday before the posting of the “Trans-pack List” tomorrow. I am cautiously optimistic my name will finally appear on the list. There have been so much movement of inmates seeing their counselors, I have to believe my time here is very limited. As soon as one inmate leaves the dorm, another is ready to take over the bunk in no time. The entire prison is bursting at the seams. When I started in the kitchen we were feeding 1200 inmates which is well beyond capacity. Now some five weeks later we are feeding almost 1300 inmates. This is close to an 8% increase – if my math is correct – and I have no idea where they are putting them. My dorm – the gym – hasn’t added any bunks in this period of time for the simple reason there is not any more space. The only way to add bunk space would be to add on another level on the double bunk beds making them triple in size. I have heard reports of other prisons which serve as Reception Centers, but it is highly discouraged because of the potential safety risks. Somehow, someway prison officials are finding additional space to house the convicts but somewhere down the line if the rate of the inmates entering the system remains current there will not be enough room to house all of them. I understand this has become a dilemma for the new head of prisons who was named to the post a few months ago and why Governor Schwarzenegger declared a “state of emergency” in the prisons a few weeks ago.
I don’t have any solutions to these problems and it truly is a distraction. My focus is getting through the next 1 ¾ years in one piece mentally and physically. I had a rocky start while I was in the County Jail and it has gotten a little better since that experience. Hopefully, it will continue to get better and I will give that hug to my family before I know it.
The Prison Kitchen Reality Series continues – today we were read the “riot act” by the CO in charge of the kitchen. He called some of us “lazy” and if it continues, some inmates will be fired. I have to believe this was not directed at me because I keep moving from the time I enter the kitchen until it is time to leave. I have noticed in the past few weeks since we changed over the kitchen staff for the third time since I have been here, that are a few lazy inmates. What I don’t understand is that the job is on a volunteer basis and presumably each inmate should do their assigned position.
Let’s face it, there is not one duty which is that difficult. Some positions are more demanding than others but for the most part it is very easy and to top it all off the inmates get to eat as much as they want. I do understand practically all the inmates show up for the additional breakfast and lunch. Also, one of the conditions of staying in the OG dorm is each inmate must work in the kitchen or the dorm. Those who don’t work and those who get fired are moved out – rolled up – into a much less desirable dormitory. This is enough of an incentive for me to work and to not be lazy when I am there.
Again, I am hoping to move on to my next destination so my career in the prison kitchen will come to a close in a few days. What will I have to write about then? This would be perfect timing because our new kitchen supervisor is going on vacation next week and according to him, his replacement for the week is very hard to get along with. The supervisor told me earlier today and there is no need to share the specifics of the conversation, but his point was crystal clear. He did say that I shouldn’t have any problems if I continue doing what I normally do, but some of the other inmates will have a tough time with his replacement. It would be nice to avoid this next week because who knows what drama may ensue. On the other hand, it may give me some good material for the blog! Either way, I will continue doing what I have been doing whether or not I am transferred nest week.
I did ask the kitchen supervisor if I could get my review – known as a “chrono” (sp?) before he left today in case I am transferred next week and he was on vacation. He did tell me okay, but I could see it in his eyes he didn’t feel like doing any paperwork today. I am fairly certain I would have received a favorable review based on our working relationship and his past comments to me. However, he became distracted near the end of our shift and he was busy with something else. I didn’t push the issue so I didn’t receive the review. I can always ask the previous kitchen supervisor who transferred to the central kitchen which is right next door. The only reason I am asking for this is for some reason the Fire Camp doesn’t work out (I hope this doesn’t happen) having a favorable review could help me get a kitchen job quicker than someone without a favorable review. However from the reports I have received, jobs are getting tougher and tougher to come by because of the overcrowding, There are wait lists for many jobs especially in the kitchen. This is yet another reason I do hope I get into a fire camp.
I guess I need to apologize for going on and on and on about the fire camp. I have really belabored the point and I do apologize for going on about it. Finally by this time tomorrow, I should have a good indication if it will be yet another week of waiting or I will be moving on to my next destination.
Postscript from the typist – Unfortunately, as of October 17th, Paul is still at Kern State in Delano
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