Calling Serenity

I have developed a very nice rhythm to my weeks as they go very rapidly. Wednesday evenings I now have a standing dinner arrangement with a dear friend at their restaurant. I have become quite comfortable with this dinner arrangement and this is all part of a very big extended family I have developed over the past three years. This large extended family has come in handy as I wait for the return of my family next month. I walked in the restaurant like I do every Wednesday evening but last night it was like walking into a very familiar kitchen with incredible people. Not only was my dear friend there but I have become very friendly with everyone in the restaurant as well. The food is always magnificent and the company just as good. This is a very nice way to spend a Wednesday evening and it really is hard to believe I am now over three months removed from being in prison.

The night went by very quickly and as we talked my cell phone but I let it go to voice mail because I didn’t want to be rude to my friend. I noticed it was a member of GA and it was one of those phone calls I had to listen to the message because this person has only been in the program for a few weeks and had been struggling. I listened to the voice mail and was extremely encouraged by the message. Only a short week ago I was on the telephone with this same person who was really hurting and now the message was the total opposite. The person just wanted to let me know they had a very good day and was feeling very good. I was tickled to hear this message and it did make my day. Miracles continue in the Gamblers Anonymous Program and I do hope this person stays with the program because the miracles won’t stop hear.

The key ingredient for any new member who comes into the Gamblers Anonymous Program is patience. This is very hard especially when there has been a great deal of destruction caused by the compulsive gambling addiction. The addiction does not vanish the second a person walks into a GA room and sometimes new members have a very difficult time being patient. No matter how long it took to get to GA the problem will not go away overnight but another key ingredient is to stop the destructive behavior. I know for myself things can only get worse if I were to go gamble which is why I choose to not gamble today.

The destructive shovel has been put down and no more destruction will occur. There is certainly destruction that exists and in my case three plus years later in recovery I am still dealing with the destruction I caused. However; at this point in my life in recovery everything continues to get better and this is what this new members was experiencing only a few weeks into the program. I do believe some new members are lulled into a false sense of security as the days do get better without gambling but some how fall away from the program. In my opinion and certainly in my own personal experience this would be a huge mistake. I know what it is like without GA in my life and I know what it is like with GA in my life; there isn’t a decision; I choose GA and life continues to be enhanced greatly.

When I entered the program over three years ago I made it a point to get to know members with significant time in the program and now some of these members are dear friends. I took what they told me when I first talked to them over three years ago and now I am on the giving end of this very wise advice. I soaked up what they had to say like a sponge and I find myself repeating these words to new members because the program certainly works if you work it. The desire to stop gambling is there for me and I sure hope it stays with me for a lifetime because I don’t want to go back to that life of lying, cheating and stealing since that isn’t a life at all. Everything in my life is shaping up nicely and it is all do to embracing recovery.

This morning I slept in for the fourth consecutive but I did finally go back to the gym last night and wasn’t feeling any ill effects from the marathon on Sunday. I decided to treat myself with the hour extra of sleep all week and next week actually tomorrow I will reconvene my old workout schedule. I may have been suffering some post marathon depression (not so much!!) but really I wanted my body to fully recover by gaining the extra sleep. I had a great workout last night and now it is to train for some other event. What that event will be I am not certain but I am back and working out feeling very good.

Yes, I did sleep in but I had to make my way to find out if I would indeed be able to travel to New Jersey next month to be with my family. Today is the first Thursday of the month and I am required to check-in on this day. I realize this changes from month to month but I needed to make my way to the office for the sole purpose of gaining the permission. I arrived at the office at the time I always arrive and waited.

There are some events (actually many) in life that don’t necessary go off as planned and today was one of those events. I come to accept the things I cannot control and this is exactly what happened. I was all geared up to submit all of the paperwork but the person I needed to see was not in and wouldn’t be in until later this afternoon. I could have waited but that would have been ridiculous so I was instructed to leave the paperwork. I did leave the paperwork and now I am waiting for a response. I was fairly certain I would hear a response early this afternoon but that hasn’t happen. I still and will always trust and believe everything will work out for the best.

Yes, I would have liked very much to have personal contact when I submitted the paperwork this morning but that just wasn’t meant to be. I had a very large smile as I drove away knowing how life works and I can make all the plans I want to make and prepare in the best way possible but in the end I only have control over my own attitude. My attitude is good and I laughed as I drove away. This isn’t surprising and I guess I could be mad or upset but what purpose does that serve. I don’t mean to be ambivalent about this matter because it is important to me but what can I do. I did my part by arriving when I was supposed to arrive and everything else is beyond my control. The “Serenity Prayer” is once again appropriate and thankfully I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!!!

Finally, the pictures of the marathon are now available on-line. I’m the guy in the with the big nose, blue shirt and bib number 2753 and as you can see I was a sweaty mess by the end of the race!!