Friday, November 25, 2005

Cured?

One paragraph from the article written in University of Las Vegas' Newspaper stated the following; "The PGC has cured over two-thirds of the problem gamblers that have came and seen them. They have also helped countless others, according to Preston said." My eyes were immediately drawn to the word CURED; what does this mean? Sixty seven percent of these problem gamblers had there compulsive gambling disorder CURED? I would hope to read more about this in the medical journals because to me there is no cure. The only way for me a compulsive gambler to "cure" my compulsive gambling is to NOT DO IT TODAY. At least I know for today I am "cured".

The article refers to an "intensive" outpatient program consisting of four sessions a week for six weeks. Does this mean the problem gambling is then cured after entering this program? I know for me it is a daily battle and this daily battle will last as long as I am alive which I hope is a very long time. I think it is wonderful there are programs all across this country to treat problem gamblers but I am not sure if "cured" is the right word.

To me; compulsive gambling is a disease which NEVER can be "cured" only arrested as it states in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. It is like have a tumor which is not removed but is not cancerous; however; can turn cancerous on any given day if I am not careful with my diet, exercise and peace of mind. My compulsive gambling disorder got worse over the course of my adult life it never got better because I let it lie dormant. Finally after 20 plus years I am not letting lie dormant; I have given it up because I CANNOT control my gambling nor do I have any desire to ever control my gambling. My life has been thrown into chaos because of my neglect. I know I can arrest this addiction but I cannot do it myself. I need help and I am seeking as much help as possible.

Ninety-five percent of the U.S. population doesn't have a problem with gambling. I am in the five percent which have a problem with gambling. It is something inside my brain and if I start thinking I am like the ninety-five percent it will lead me into self-destruction. I have seen my self-destruction over the last 20 plus years and I don't like where it has taken me. I am embarking on a new life in many ways and this will be without the thought or action of gambling because I cannot do it.

We have a fantastic member in GA who puts things into perspective and their creed which I firmly believe and associate with is; "there are many things in this life I CAN control but gambling is not one of them." I can control my diet, my exercise routine and the choices in my life but I too CANNOT control my gambling and this is okay. Life without gambling is a wonderful because all of the lies and deceit that came with gambling made me a very bad person. Now without the gambling the lies and deceit have gone away and I am starting to be a better person as each day passes. It is a long road with no finish line which is why it (for me) has to be lived one day at time.

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