Friday, February 17, 2006

Rambling Thoughts and a Happy Birthday

First off a very big Happy Birthday to my Father. Happy Birthday Dad!!! I hope you had a great day. I know it has been very difficult for everyone in my family especially my father. I am truly sorry for all the grief and sorrow my actions have caused. I know I am doing everything necessary to ensure this does not happen again and I am very grateful for all of the support from everyone especially my father. I hope you had a great golf game today.

Yes, grandma did arrive last night and she was so excited she couldn't wait until the morning to see the grandchildren. She woke them up and they were a bit startled to see her but they were very happy to see their grandmother. They love their grandmother very much and we all will have a great time during her visit.

I read in the newspaper today my ex-employer made a very significant donation to the local tourism bureau which seems like a departure from when I was employed but they seem to be moving in a very positive direction. This is the third significant donation they have made to a local organization in the last year. They are a good organization and it is so nice to see them reaching out to the local community. In the newspaper article it referred to one of my former friends and it is nice to see this former friend is doing so well.

Yes, there are sometimes I do miss the work camaraderie and I do miss some very fascinating people. I do know everything happens for a reason and I do know I have made a great many true friends in the past year which I can count on for years to come. I do hate what I have done to everyone surrounding me; however; I do understand I have had and will continue to have a compulsive gambling problem which I continue to address each and everyday. As I continue my diligent efforts in my recovery life gets better each day.

Tomorrow is another birthday celebration at our Saturday Morning Gamblers Anonymous and we will be celebrating two members second year of abstinence in the Program. Our little group is not so little anymore and the Program is truly getting bigger and better as each day goes by. I am very blessed to be surrounded by some great individuals and they are making my recovery that much better.

I found out today that my next court appointment will be delayed another week or so. My attorney has a trial and he cannot attend my court meeting. I spoke with my attorney this afternoon and our relationship has changed significantly over the course of the last year and he is more like a friend than an attorney. I am glad I chose him because I do feel comfortable with his advice and he actually listens to me when I talk.

I don't like the fact that I have to continue to defer the inevitable but I do know these things are out of my control and it gives me that much more time to spend with my family. I know my days are numbered and I would like to get into the sentencing phase as soon as possible so I can start living again; however; I do know there is a plan by God and I will listen very intently to this plan because I know everyone will work out for the very best.

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