Mother's Day 2007

I completed my leisurely lunch and it was time for me to write. I didn’t procrastinate and started to write soon after finishing lunch. I wanted to complete my writing so I could start THE 5TH HORSEMAN. There are some days when I struggle to write and other days when I can’t stop. Yesterday was one of the days when I couldn’t stop. I wrote the daily entry for the blog and also wrote my mother a letter. I guess my writing is a bit (okay maybe more than a bit) lengthy which could explain why I had used up the entire afternoon. I continue to be amazed as to how time goes by quickly when I am doing something. When I am in a groove writing, 2 hours pass before I know it. Yesterday, I passed 3 hours without even realizing it. I finally put down my pen and picked up THE 5TH HORSEMAN.

At dinner tonight, I received a very large serving of beans and used the hot dog rolls which are given to the normal eating inmates to make a “bean sandwich”. The beans with the broccoli were very filling - my digestive system has gotten used to this combination – and I was filled for the night. It was back to the dorm to wait for the evening yard to open. While I waited I read some more of the Patterson novel which was very “Pattersonique”. It is a page-turner but as I moved forward quickly I didn’t find an affinity with any of the characters. The first half of the novel seemed to lack depth. It is entertaining but not much more. This is a non-Alex Cross novel and this book is about the Women’s Club. I maybe missing something because I had no emotional attachment to any of the characters. However, one of the best attributes of a Patterson novel is he never seems to waste words.

Since there wasn’t any evening yard over the past few nights, there haven’t been any telephone sign-ups. This meant they were available last night on a first come first serve basis. By the time I arrived all the time slots had been taken. Even my friend could not obtain one and he was outside well before me. I was hoping to call my mother and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day since I don’t have any telephone time tomorrow. I asked the CO who is in charge of the telephones and who also works in the dining hall. She was very pleasant as she usually is and allowed me an 8:45 pm phone call. I realized I would be waking my mother up but I really wanted to talk with her. I called but there was no answer. I tried a second time but still no answer. Since I had the telephone time, I thought I would call my wife because I wanted to hear her voice. I did wake her up and I could hear the grogginess in her voice. It took her a few minutes to wake up but I did most of the talking in the first few minutes. I told my wife what I found out about the transfer and that I was really okay. The only hope of getting to fire camp sooner resided with my friend transferring this week and him working his “magic” to get me transferred this week. My wife was disappointed for me and realized this would further delay her visit. As always my wife was very sympathetic to my plight but we both agreed there isn’t anything either one of us can do to expedite the transfer. At least I know where I stand and won’t be disappointed when Tuesday rolls around.

We moved on to another subject and this is where my wife did most of the talking. I asked her if there was anything new regarding my 401K with my former employer. Unfortunately, there wasn’t but she had some other interesting news she learned from a friend. I would categorize this news as gossip but I was very intrigued as my wife talked. Our time is always limited on the phone and the fact that the evening yard was about to close didn’t help. As she got to the very fascinating part of this story, the telephone was unceremoniously cut-off. My wife was in mid-sentence when the telephone went dead. It was GREAT to hear her voice and even though much of the conversation was gossip, I was so happy I called her. I would like to know the next part of this story but it will have to wait until next Tuesday. I felt very invigorated after speaking with my wife. WE couldn’t say good-bye or I love you because the phone cut-off but I do miss her so much and love her so much, we don’t need the words.

I finished THE 5TH HORSEMAN this morning. The storyline was very compelling but was resolved in one page. It did have some twists and turns but seemed to fall a bit flat. It wasn’t a bad novel but it wasn’t a great one. It was decent and did entertain me. The best part was that it helped pass the time quickly. As always, I was very happy to read a James Patterson novel even though this one wasn’t one of his best in my opinion.

Today is Mother’s Day 2007 and as my wife stated “just another day”. She is right because it is just another day for me. I cannot take care of my children so my wife can have time for herself. I cannot take my wife out for a nice Sunday Brunch or stay home and cook her breakfast. I won’t even see my wife today. These are all part of my consequences of my actions and yes, this is the punishment. Unfortunately, the punishment does not just fall on me as it spills over to my wife, children, family, and friends. I have to always remember this because in a short while I will be with my wife and family and things will hopefully get back to normal. I will be able to take care of my children so my wife can have a day for herself. I will be able to take her to brunch or make her breakfast at home. There will be wonderful times as long as I stay in recovery. My life is filled with blessings and my temporary leave from my family will be over soon enough.

There are many special mothers in my life and I would like to wish all of these Mothers a very Happy Mothers Day! I would like to single out three special mothers. The first one is my mother-in-law. This wonderful woman opened up her home to my family where they have lived for the past 10 months. Her home is filled with so much love and support. She has provided my family with normalcy in a very abnormal situation. Thank you so much and please know I love you very much. Happy Mother’s Day!

The second mother is my mom. My mother has stood behind my family and me since the beginning of this journey, over 2 years ago. I can feel her love all the way across the country. She too, has supplied so much love and support for my family during this very stressful time. My mother has been my conduit to the outside world and I love her so very much. Thank you so much for everything especially your love and support of not only me but the rest of my family. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Last, but certainly not least, is my darling wife. Over the years on Mother’s Day I would say to her, “You’re not my mother.” This is a horrible thing to say even in a joking way. The facts are my wife is the Mother of our children and she is a GREAT mother! My wife is a very strong woman and has maintained nothing but consistency for our children in this very inconsistent time. I put the weight of the world on her shoulders some 2 years ago and she has been carrying it ever since. Not only has she been carrying this weight, she has done it with dignity. My love for my wife continues to grow every second. I love her so very much and thank her for her love and devotion. My wife has displayed love and support for me from the beginning, but more importantly, she maintains nothing but love and caring for our children. I love you Sweetie and miss you so very much! Happy Mother’s Day!