Zacca Fire August 23rd-30th

The fire bus departed the camp at 6:30 pm Wednesday, August 22 enroute to the second largest wildfire in California history. This fire had burned some 240,000 acres. The largest wildfire on record in California history was the Cedar Fire (San Diego County) which burned almost 270,000 acres and destroyed approximately 5000 structures. That fire occurred in 2003 and I remember seeing ash at our house which was over 70 miles from the fire. Zacca had fortunately not burned any structures nor were there any deaths. The fire is located in the Los Padres National Forest which is a huge area spanning from south of Santa Barbara to north of Monterey.

The rushing of the fire call had begun with the fire meal dinner. The two crews which were due out on the fire were allowed to eat first; however, we were rushed through the entire meal. A few minutes into the meal “mail call” was announced for those of us eating which meant we had to stop and go outside near the office to receive our mail. Yes, the chaos had begun. I did my best to stay present and not let all of the chaos affect me. I did well because as I was going toward the bus, I passed one of the CO’s and said, “I like the organization we have here.” The CO laughed and replied “Ain’t it great!” Chaos does reign during these times and now I can view it without getting caught up. My life was so chaotic and now it is peaceful. Fortunately, I continue to learn more and more about myself which is all very positive.

The bus was off and we were off to fight the wildfire. The rumor was that the two crews could be gone for 3 weeks. This was based on the twp returning crews which were gone for 20 days fighting the same fire. I had my doubts about being gone for the 21 days but was prepared for anything. The bus ride to the staging area of the fire was uneventful, thankfully. Our Captain seems to have difficulty staying awake on the overnight bus rides but on this trip he was fine. We pulled in to the staging area near 11:00 pm where we would spend the night and in the morning we would find out our assignment. The wake up was at 5:00 am so by the time all of our gear was situated most of us got 5 hours of sleep. I got less because I have a difficult time sleeping on the ground underneath a tent in a sleeping bag. Nonetheless, I was awake before the wake up call. Upon getting up, we are required to re-pack everything we brought out from the bus because we never know where the day will take us. Of course, the rushing began once again and it was the typical hurry up and wait. We ate breakfast and got our sack lunches while we waited for our assignment. Finally 2 ½ hours after waking up we received an assignment for the day.

This fire started on July 4th and has spread ever since. Our assignment was to rehab the area where the burn started last month. In fact, this wasn’t a burn area at all, it was a contingency area and now that the fire has gone southward, this area had to be put back together. When fighting wildland fires, lines are cut around certain areas to prevent the fire from spreading. Which are the most important tactic. Yes, water drops and retardant drops are made but this only slows the progress of the fire and does not extinguish it. During a fire of this magnitude, very large lines are cut and bulldozers are utilized. These lines can be miles long and 40 feet wide. During our assignment, we encountered a line miles long and 30 feet wide. Since this is a National forest, the bulldozer line had to be put back to its original state. This meant we had to smooth out the tractor marks and take the cut brush from the sides and lay it on the bulldozer line. This isn’t exactly fire fighting, but it is a function a=our crews provide. This was going to be a 24 hour assignment; however, as darkness fell we were able to move to a campsite for the night. Working a 24 hour shift has many more benefits than working a 12 hour shift. Since we were able to work 24 hours, we would have the following 24 hours off. This is so much better than working 12 hours and having 12 hours off. This type of shift has the crews going and going everyday. Whereas the 24 hour shift provides more rest and downtime.

The work for the day was done and I accomplished my goal of always moving forward. Before going to sleep, I ate my dinner which was a vegetarian meal. I have so fortunate all throughout this journey and this good fortune showed through my lunches. There is only one other inmate who is on the other crew who also receives the vegetarian meal and I do like being on a fire with him because at least I am not alone on my eating choices. Anyhow, I had a great salad and in the salad I put tuna. Yes, I would not go hungry on this trip.

It was time to go to sleep and I was able to fall asleep very quickly since I had little sleep over the past two nights. Unfortunately, I didn’t stay asleep very long. I heard my name being called by one of my crewmembers. He called my name to tell me there were several skunks walking around the campground. This cry of skunk went all around many of my crewmembers. When I finally realized what was going on, a smile across my face and I had to chuckle. I am by no means an outdoor person, but I do know that if I don’t bother the skunks, they won’t bother me. We went back to sleep and a few hours later, the skunk cry was revisited. One of the skunks got into a crewmembers backpack and was munching on a piece of chicken. The backpack was located only a few feet away from his head so he was a bit startled. Fortunately, the skunks didn’t spray anyone nor did they abduct anyone as well. I did find both skunk events very funny and it did make me smile.

The night was over and so was our shift. We packed up and headed back to the staging area for the 24 hour downtime. We had breakfast, took a shower which was surprisingly very hot, and for about 3 hours I tried to sleep. As the day progressed, the tent became very warm. There were 30 guys in the tent with very little ventilation. A portable swamp cooler was brought in but only seemed to cool off a few feet.

Another interesting event occurred during this period of downtime. One of the CO’s thought they overheard an inmate speaking on a cell phone while the inmate was in a port-o-potty. Cell phones are a huge no no in prison for a multitude of reasons so the CO acted accordingly. The only issue was the inmate was talking to another inmate in the next booth. The inmate in question was searched upon exiting and no cell phone was found. The port-o-potty was searched and once again nothing was found. The CO was very insistent on finding the alleged cell phone that everyone inside the tent was searched. Not only was everyone searched physically so was all of their belongings. Yes, this is camp but it is still prison and these things do happen.

The funny incident happened when the CO started searching everyone inside the tent. The first person the CO went to was one of my friends who is as square as I am and there was no way he could have contraband. However, he was told to strip down to his boxers. The problem was he didn’t have any on and was being searched by a female officer. He didn’t immediately take off his pants and explained that he wasn’t wearing any because he forgot to put a clean pair in the bag when he went to take a shower. This whole scene seemed to fluster the CO and somewhat embarrassed my friend. A compromise was agreed upon as his pants stayed on but were shaken a few times to uncover anything concealed. Of course, nothing was found on him and once again I smiled throughout the entire incident. The search did not stop there and everyone’s belongings were turned upside down. A few contraband items were found but no cell phone. The event did break up my day and the rest of the day was uneventful as dinner time arrived. Prior to going to sleep, we were informed that the fire jumped the line and we would be going out at 2:30 in the morning. Yes, it would be another night of little sleep.

Somehow I always manage to get up before the wake up call occurs and today was no exception. We boarded the bus at 3:30 am and drove 2 ½ hours to the other end of the fire. We drove 120 miles and it was still part of the same fire. We entered another staging area and had breakfast prior to going out on the fire line. After breakfast we received our instructions and went out to the fire line. This is where I could see the damage of the fire. I looked east and west – all I could see was blackened hillsides. Fire is so amazing that in the area where we were located there was a small section in a drainage ditch which was untouched by fire. The peculiar thing was all around this was burned area yet somehow nature spared this patch. I noticed a tree about 30 feet which was exactly half burned while the other half was untouched. Nature and with it fire is such a powerful source. I am in awe of this power and respect it tremendously.

Our assignment for today was to join the other crew and several other crews from different fire camps at the top of the mountain. This is where we were supposed to cut a fire cline. Since there was the unburned area in the drainage, one crew had to stay near the middle section to keep an eye on the unburned section. This provided a lookout for the crews on top of the ridge. My crew was the lookout. Hiking is my favorite part about going out on these hikes and I was looking forward to the long hike but got shortsided when we stopped at the middle. I felt a bit jealous as the other crews went to the top but I understand the need to have a lookout. The area surrounding the unburned section was still smoldering. There wasn’t any visible flames but the area was hot. Our job as well as being a lookout was to mop up the burn area. While we were doing this, a small section of the unburned area caught on fire. Our crew put a small line around the area and within minutes the fire was out. I had no idea cutting a 2 foot wide, 60 feet long into the dirt could be so effective at fighting a fire but it was.

The rest of the day was mop up and lookout duty. This was another 24 hour shift but we wouldn’t have the luxury of sleeping at a campsite in the sleeping bags. We had to remain on the fire line to ensure nothing caught fire because there were still crews at the top of the ridge. My crew spread out along the hillside. I took a position with the Swamper of my crew near the top section. I was able to get in a little more hiking with him because we went up further to check a hot spot which was quickly extinguished with some dirt and we returned to our perch. I had a great view of all the mountain peaks and even with the burned area the scene was very peaceful. I soaked all the beauty in and was enjoying every moment. It is moments like these that I am so happy to be in recovery because now I know how to live in the moment. This was a breathtaking moment and all the inconsequential rushing and other little inconveniences were well worth being able to be on this hilltop.

We would take shifts staying awake throughout the night which was rather warm as the cloud cover rolled in. This blocked all the stars and kept the temperature warm. I did stay awake most of the night because I couldn’t get comfortable on the hard ground. The night sky also provided lightning shows which was heat lightning and I never fell in any danger. The sun had yet to come up but our shift was over. It was time to walk down the mountain in the dark. I do wear a headlamp which does provide some light but it is still dangerous. I took about 4 steps and stepped into a hole which twisted my ankle temporarily. Thankfully, the hiking boots provided great support and after taking a few more steps, I was fine. This was a reminder to me to take my time and go slow. Getting hurt on the fire line is a real possibility and unfortunately the consequences of getting hurt are very bad. This is why I took my time going back down the mountain. The entire crew made it back to the bus without incident. We waited for the other crew to arrive and when they did, we headed back to the staging area.

When we stepped off the bus at the staging area – also know as base camp – the CO’s rushed us to provide enough time for all of the crews. I can understand this but the last thing anyone wants to hear after being on the fire line for 24 hours is someone – heck anyone – yelling at them. Well, this is what happened – the CO’s were barking instructions to us the minute we stepped off the bus. This didn’t help the energy level of the crews, but it is a very strong part of our day to day life. I maintained an inner smile and kept up with positive self talk. In spite of my best efforts, I was indeed tired and starting to show the effects. I was growing an ugly cold sore on my upper lip which was directly caused by lack of sleep. Also, I did my best to keep to myself so I wouldn’t get short with anyone. My focus was on the cold sore which I do get from time to time all throughout my life. I have a good defense against these sores in taking 3000 milligrams of lysine and apply Abreva to the infected area. This worked well when I was not incarcerated and unfortunately neither lysine nor Abreva are available to me. Thankfully, a member of the other crew who is also susceptible to cold sores lent me his Carmex which helps alleviate them. It does appear I have a long way to go in self-healing because the cold sore only got bigger as the days went on. In this environment there are no secrets nor is there any decorum as I had almost everyone as me, “What is that on your lip?” I explained ad everyone seemed to say, “Oh.”

We rushed through breakfast only to have to wait 1 ½ hours for the showers. They felt good but the constant yelling by the CO was a definite distraction. We returned to or tent to find out we had to share it with another crew from another camp. These tents fit 30 people comfortably. Now we were asked to share with 15 more guys which made matters a bit cramped. Sleep has become a precious commodity on this trip and even though I was exhausted, I had difficulty sleeping in these conditions. I was situated in a very bad spot inside the tent near the swamp cooler so it was cool during the day but I was surrounded by 4 other guys in a very tight space. I had feet in my face, back, legs, and head. No, it wasn’t very comfortable, but I did manage a few hours of sleep and felt rested.

Te rest of the day was uneventful except for the fact that I saw my friend from my old dorm at Jamestown. He was the one who was a PFT Instructor with me and he always had a great positive attitude. It was great to see him and great to see that he hadn’t changed one bit. He was still very positive and exhibits very high energy. I talked with him for a wile along with a couple of his crew member. Apparently, that particular fire camp was not well thought of according to several of the guys, but my friend seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. He is a wonderful guy and I had been looking to see him for awhile.

The 5:00 am wake up call came and as usual I was once again ready well in advance. I didn’t sleep very well due to the close quarters and the fact it was exceedingly cold as the swamp cooler ran all night long. Being cold and my very sensitive bladder does not make for a good mixture. Yes, I was up all night long. The assignment for today was to ensure there weren’t any hot spots in the burned area. Once again this isn’t exactly the high profile work of firefighters but it is necessary. The area where we were located had burned 8 days prior and finding a hot spot was difficult. I kept moving forward and did my best. The temperature extremes were huge; during the day, it was very warm and at night the lows hit 40 degrees. Once we checked our section, everyone sought shade. While we were in the shade someone noticed a to spot high atop the mountain. The Captain asked for four volunteers and I jumped up first because it was an opportunity to hike. I hiked with the group a little way but sometimes they have a habit of stopping for several breaks like the other day when a few of us went back to the bus for more water for the crew. I prescribe to the theory of slow and steady wins the race. As long as I am moving forward this is positive so when the guys were about to stop, I urged then on going a bit slower. This helped but I got ahead and took a route that was extremely difficult. It was good that I went this way because it allowed the rest of the guys to go a better way. I was going up really steep inclines but I was having fun. We reached the hot spot which turned out to be a tree stump on fire. The guys worked very well together and the hot spot was extinguished. The was good team work and I got my exercise for the day.

We started down and earlier in the day, I took a tumble tripping over a rock while twisting my ankle. This was the second time I twisted my ankle, but in spite of taking the fall, I was fine. This was another reminder for me to be careful which is why I went slowly back down the hill. I don’t care how long it takes me to get down the hill; as long as I stay safe then it is a success in my book.

The day was coming to an end and once again we had to spend the night on the fireline with no sleeping bags. I thought I was prepared for the cold night donning a thermal shirt, beanie, and winter jacket. This worked okay for half the night but the temp dropped into the 40’s and I was freezing. I had gotten an intermittent amount of sleep but I was too cold to stay asleep. I did watch the lunar eclipse which was incredibly fascinating. However, by 4:00 am I had gotten up and I didn’t want to lay back down on the cold ground. I stood there staring out into the sky. A few of crew members were also awake at this time and huddled around the portable gas stove for warmth. They tried to get my attention and finally I went over to where they were standing. Not only were they standing near the portable gas stove; they had heated up empty Gatorade bottles with hot water. I was given one and felt great. I know 40 degrees is not exactly cold, but when the temperature drops 60 degrees during the day it feels cold to me. I couldn’t wait for the end of our shift which occurred at 6:00 am. Finally, the end of the shift arrived and it was time to go back to base camp.

Thankfully, the crew we were sharing with had departed so we could finally stretch out. I was exhausted at this point and fell asleep for 3 straight hours which is quite an accomplishment for me. I felt refreshed and ate some lunch. The vegetarian lunch was hummus on pita bread which was delicious! The rest of the day I read a little and rested.

The word came down that the next day would be a 12 hour shift which would end our trip. Of course, I take any information with a grain of salt because everything is subject to change. I could see that our work was coming to an end and it would be hard pressed to be here any longer; however, fire is very tricky and literally anything can happen. The wake up call came at 5:15 and again I was up before that which gives me time to reflect and fill my head with positive thoughts. I think about my family back in New Jersey. The days are passing and on this trip I officially turned 42 years of age. This was just another day and no one knew it was my birthday. I didn’t speak with my family members because I was out on a fire. This was okay because all their love resonates deeply within me. I am blessed and grateful for every one of those 42 years. This will be the last time I am separated from my family on my birthday and it is great to know this.

Our final assignment was back on the spot where we were a few days ago. We had to ensure no hot spots existed. I did point out one spot because I went up ahead of the crew and had a better vantage point. Then 5 of us hiked to the near top of the ridge which turned out to be a very good hike. This is where I wanted to go the first day but when I got to what I thought was the top there was more to go. Unfortunately, the Captain from the other crew prevented us from going all the way up. I was content with the hike up and felt very good. The hike back down was more of a slide as the slopes were incredibly steep. I took my time and rejoined the rest of the crew. We found a shady spot where we had lunch. After lunch we had to disconnect the hose lines on the side of the hill. This is the type of work no one looks forward to but has got to be done. This helps the professional firefighters tremendously so the crew was up to the task. One of the crew members who normally doesn’t do much was feeling his oats today and was shooting off his mouth. Normally, I keep my mouth shut but for some reason, he started in on me. He thought I was only carrying one hose line when in fact I was carrying two just like everyone else. Yes, I am the thinnest of the crew so pulling my weight is less than everyone else but I do my best. I wasn’t having any problems with the hose lines but the crew member wouldn’t stop talking. I had enough and spoke my peace. This was out of character for me but I was applauded by a few crew members. I do my best to let things go but I couldn’t on this day. This tells me I have a long way to go with the POWER OF INTENTION. I know what needs to be done and will do my very best. This was a learning experience as is everyday. I continue to learn and now I have a great deal of learning to do.

All of the hoses were brought down some 3000 feet. I was soaked through with sweat as I reached the bottom. This task was our last task for the day and for the fire. We waited for the other crew to come down and when they arrived we headed back to the base camp. The drill was the same as we disembarked from the bus.

I slept much better than I have all week long. I was up and ready by 5:00 am even though we didn’t have to wake up until 6:15. I sat there thinking this could very well be my last fire as an inmate/firefighter as the bathroom porter position should be waiting for me when I got back to camp. The only issue was having my Captain sign the job change form. I hadn’t asked him about it and I was planning to ask when we got back to camp later in the day. It was good to be away from camp but I know I will make the very best of being a bathroom porter and the key is my time will now be my own for the next 6 months. The rest of the morning was the same as breakfast arrived and I added to my already bulging garbage bag full of snacks. I had so many snacks I needed to double the bag so it would not break. Most of these snacks were for guys back at camp who don’t go to fires.

After breakfast we waited for the Captain to arrive and I helped load the CO’s vehicle with assorted items. While loading, the Lieutenant was nearby. He is a very good man and has a great attitude. He doesn’t let any negative get to him and exudes only positive. I also like his management style which is hands- off to a point. He knows when to step in because he has been doing this a very long time. The Captains arrived and we departed. We had to stop at another base camp to have the buses inspected before going back to camp which is required by law. The drive to the other base camp took about 40 minutes. The inspection took less than 10 minutes and we were given the all clear. We were finally headed back to camp!

The ride back was long and hot. The air-conditioning wasn’t working very well as the outside temps were well in the 100’s. The quarters were tighter than usual because of all the snacks. It took 5 hours to get back to camp and I was very happy to be there. I got off the bus and asked the Captain if he had signed my job change form. He said, “I haven’t done anything with it.” I was a bit disappointed to hear this but the nicest CO I have met on this journey was standing nearby and heard the entire exchange. The CO said without missing a beat, “I want him.” The Captain okayed this and the CO told me they would take care of everything. There it was another example of how there are no coincidences in life how timing matters. The Captain signed the form and I am to report tomorrow. This was indeed my last fire as an inmate/firefighter and now I am moving on to fight the battle of soap scum in the bathroom!

I went back into camp ad unpacked all of my belongings, but first I needed a long shower. Unfortunately, I had to settle for a hot shower even though I could have used some cold water due to the excessive high temps. The shower felt good and I could take as long as I like without someone yelling how many minutes were left. The shower was over and I sorted through the large bag of goodies and started to hand out many of the items. I saved a hummus for my friend who works with the kitchen. The evening continued with mail call for the two returning crews. I had plenty of mail waiting for me and most of it were birthday cards from family and friends. I am extremely blessed and grateful to everyone in my life and I thank all of you who remembered me through all the cards I received.

After mail call, I was able to call my wife and it was great to hear her voice after such a long time. I told her all about the trip to the Zucca fire and my new position. My wife summed up my new job perfectly as she pointed out that it did not matter that I would no longer be leaving the camp because even when I am in camp, I am still outside with no gates, fences, or other impediments. She is so right and I will make the very best of the six months I have remaining. The telephone call was excellent and it was so good to hear her voice. I will follow-up with another phone call this weekend so I can speak to my children who start school next week. Wow, the summer is over and it is already back to school. Where did it go? Afterward, I talked with my friends and went to sleep. It was so good to be in my bunk off the ground for the first time in 9 nights. I am grateful for the time I spent as a firefighter as I have learned many things such as nature is the most powerful force. Nature is part of my higher power and as each day goes by, my recovery is strengthened immensely. It was good to lay down with a real pillow and a real mattress. I was asleep in not time as my head hit the pillow.