Surprising Telephone Call

Yesterday evening I did something usual but for the night it was unusual. First I went out to dinner by myself utilizing a gift card I was so graciously given by my mother. I went to the local Soup Plantation restaurant which for a buffet is quite good and not too mention healthy as well. I didn’t feel out of place being by myself as I came prepared with a magazine. I filled up on salads and bread. The meal was very nice and it is hard to believe we are in a recession because the restaurant was quite busy.

After dinner I made my way over to a GA meeting. This is certainly not unusual for me but the night made it unusual. In the local area there are five GA meetings which meet five times a week. I have been a regular at four of these meetings since my release in February. Even before my sentence I was a regular at five of the then six meetings in the area. Subsequently we have lost the Wednesday meeting due to poor attendance. For whatever reason I have not attended the Thursday evening GA meeting; this is most likely due to the fact that Thursday’s were our (the family) “Survivor” night and I was looking for a little balance. GA is an important part of my life but as a long time member says “it is not everything in my life”.

Okay I am going to digress because something just popped into my little brain. The key to life in my opinion is balance. For so many years I was out of balance and just merely replacing the gambling with GA does recovery a disservice. It is a whole new outlook on life I have gleaned through the program. I have a very long way to go to achieve balance in my life but it is a good start. Balance is another simplistic term on face value because when anything is out of balance it falls over and I certainly fell over for a number of years.

The digression is over; back to last night. I decided to go to the GA meeting because a very good member was celebrating their one year birthday. These are very special birthdays in the program and I wanted to be in the meeting as a part of the celebration. I have come to learn that these celebrations are indeed milestones but it is only just a number and the number that counts for me is today I did not gamble and I did my best to be a better person. As long as I continue this one day at a time it leads up to a lifetime of positive being and happiness.

The meeting was a bit different but still very good and as it turns out a new member was in attendance. This new member like most new members was all broken up and on the verge of losing their family. Compulsive gambling is an insidious disease and does bring people to their knees; I know because it brought me to my knees. Hopefully; this new member saw the value and principles of the program and will continue to participate in the program. I know it continues to save my life each and everyday.

The meeting and the celebration was very good. I got to see some members I don’t normally get to see and I was very happy I attended the meeting. Then it was time to go home and have my nightly chat with my dear friend. I don’t know how my friend does it because they seem to get no sleep whatsoever with the small children. I know I am exhausted in the morning and have been getting up later then usual. This morning I did make it to the gym but about an hour later then usual.

As I was leaving my dear friend was up and about. There are some people who require less then the recommended 8 hours and I believe my friend is one of these people. I know as long as I get 6 I can function very well which also means working out. However; the harder I train the more sleep I need and my training program is getting more intense as each week passes. Thankfully I have flexibility and really a great deal of time to devote to work and to working out because there really isn’t much else for me to do!!

I continued with my training schedule and there is an interesting dynamic (at least for me!) happening with this training schedule. Yesterday I ran a little over 7 miles and today I ran a little over 6 miles but the time in which I ran was the same. Meaning I covered the 7 miles yesterday much faster then today; however; today felt more difficult then yesterday. It is an interesting dynamic because my mind plays a much larger role in all of this as it is simply mind over matter. I felt sluggish the first few miles today which made the run more difficult then yesterday even though yesterday was much more intense. Anyhow I did stay with the schedule and didn’t add more miles or time. This is a positive step for me.

My morning workout was over and it was time to head into the office. As I have mentioned previously Fridays are very casual and laid back since most of the staff has the day off. Today was casual but it was less laid back then usual due to many factors. I like to stay calm and through recovery along with my prison journey I continue to learn to remain calm even in a sea of chaos. I do believe everything happens for a reason and things have a tendency of working themselves out. This does not mean I just sit back and let things happen in fact I do my best all the time. This makes the day go by in a very positive matter and today was no exception.

The day was moving along and as I was speaking with my family my office telephone rang (actually I think it beeps as opposed to ring). I don’t get many calls at the office because not many people know my office telephone number. I receive most of my calls on my cell phone. I picked up the telephone and said my normal greeting; “good afternoon this is Paul”. The voice on the other end was unfamiliar and when I heard; “I wrote to you when you were in prison do you know who I am?” I struggled for an answer but after a few more sentences by this unknown person I put the voice to a letter I did receive a few months back when I was in prison.

This was a remarkably resourceful person who has been and continues to be hurt by a compulsive gambler who just happens to be their spouse. I have written about this person when I was in prison and the letter I received. I was amazed this person was able to find me at the office of all places since not even my wife knows my office telephone number. (I haven’t had the need to tell him because I always have my cell phone available.) Yes, I was a bit shocked but in a very pleasant manner. This person wanted to talk to me about something they are putting together which helps those who have been affected by a compulsive gambler just like this person.

We had a very good conversation as we spoke for over 30 minutes. I can understand this person’s pain and frustration with their significant other because their significant other does not want to seek help. This is really ashamed because no amount of intervention, prodding, shoving or any other involvement will get this person the help they so need. In GA the Combo Book states; “GA will ALWAYS work for any person who has a DESIRE to stop gambling. However it will NEVER work for the person who will NOT face squarely the facts about this illness.” It appears their spouse is not facing the facts about their illness.

I felt very good after to speaking with this person and the fact that I have written extensively and thoroughly over these past three years. I don’t know if I have helped a compulsive gambler from going down the path that I went down but it does appear there are people who read these words and seem to understand. I continue to meet so many wonderful people and here was a complete stranger taking time out of their day to speak with me. The conversation was an honor and privilege, thank you very much.