Control

Control is a funny thing. I can control myself but I cannot control others. I can control my eating and exercising habits but I couldn't control my gambling. Fourteen years ago I decided not to eat red meat and I haven't eaten any red meat in those 14 years and have no craving. Six years ago I decided not to eat any other meat with the exception of fish and in those 6 years I haven't had any and do not crave any. Why was gambling so different? I never set out and said let me stop gambling until my world came crashing down. Is there another receptor in the brain that controls our gambling? It has been 53 days since I last placed a wager and I still have no desire.

My life appears to be in a holding pattern but I must take control and seek my own positive destiny. I have been told numerous times to go out and get a job any job. I am very embarrassed by my actions and do not want to lie to any prospective employer. If I tell the truth I will have no chance at getting any job. I am supposed to have an interview next week, however, I haven't received a phone call back confirming the date and time, maybe they had second thoughts. I am pursuing work at home opportunities through the internet and really do wonder if people make a living this way. Fear is a negative emotion and I must channel this fear into success. Does any of this make sense?