Back to Normal

My normal has changed over the course of the last nine months and this normal is much better than what it used to be. My normal Saturday now consists of getting up going to Krispy Kreme; getting donuts for the Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting and attending the meeting. This is a far cry from what normal was nine months ago. Normal was getting up by 6:30; checking my cell phone for the daily selections and then placing my many many bets on the internet for the day. After I placed the bets I would go and work out. I believe my work out routine has kept me from completely going insane. It is the one staple in my life that kept me from losing my mind prior to nine months ago and keeps me from losing my mind now.

Of course now I have so many other things in my life that keep me on the straight and narrow path like the Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting as well as the other two GA meetings I attend on Sunday and Tuesday. Yes, this normal is so much better than what it previously was like. I know things will continue to change in terms of what is normal but if I maintain what I am doing currently and keep doing it one day at a time life will continue to improve.

Today's meeting was a birthday celebration and it looks like our little GA group is going to have a few more birthdays in the coming months which is fantastic. The meeting today celebrated a member's one year of abstinence from gambling and yes, we do make a big deal of it. I know it is just another day and I am just one bet away from that slippery slope; however; as members approach certain milestones we do celebrate because it is very important. Today was no exception, there was a very good turnout for the meeting and it is so nice to see some fellow members who travel a good distance and don't normally come to the Saturday morning meeting. Everyone adds something different to a meeting but there are certain people I really enjoy listening to maybe it is because I don't see these people often. Whatever the reason their wisdom always resonates with me.

I received many positive compliments (can a compliment be negative?? maybe so) about the Al Roker Investigates program and I thank everyone for their feedback. I also received some questions regarding the show and one in particular I would like to address. Someone asked me why did they show my family especially my children. Maybe they thought this was an exploitive measure by the producers but I thought it showed how a compulsive gambler not only affects their own life but the lives of others. My wife and children are real people and what I have done to them is horrible. I certainly regret my actions but I cannot change those events of the past I can only be a better person for myself and them today. I thank God each and every day for keeping my family together and I thank God each and every day for blessing me with such a special wife. She is an amazing person and I know we will continue to grow as a couple and as a family through this entire ordeal.

Getting back to the Court TV program; by showing my family it gave a face to what my wife and what I was talking about. Hopefully, one person out there that is on the brink of doing something bad because of their compulsive gambling addiction thinks about their loved ones before committing the bad behavior. This maybe a fantasy of mine because most compulsive gamblers (like me) stop gambling when it appears to be too late. I am hear to tell anyone who will listen it is NEVER too late. No matter how much in debt, how much grief and sorrow, how much pain and suffering the compulsive gambler has caused it is never too late to stop gambling and get help.

I fought this disease for all of my adult life and now I know I don't have to fight it anymore. I am powerless over gambling and I cannot control my gambling behavior. Through the grace of God and the Gamblers Anonymous Program I have the strength to NOT gamble today and this has been successful for the last nine months and twelve days. I will repeat this process tomorrow because it truly does work one day at a time.

Finally anyone interested in reading the entire commentary from the columnist at the Buffalo News regarding the Al Roker Investigates "Kids, Cards and Dice" program please click here.