World Goes On

No matter what I have done in the past or what I am currently doing there will always be some people who have their mind made up. This is what makes the world go around. People will believe what they want to believe and I can only control my own thinking and not that of anyone else. God has granted me the serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change and this is one of those things. I know who I am and what type of person I am. There are so many people who have stood by me through this horrible time that I know I am not a MONSTER or worse yet a socio-path.

I have always been a good person with a gambling problem that went unchecked. I have finally sought help with my gambling problem and I am becoming an even better person each and every day. It is hard for some people to understand addiction, compulsion or any other disorder because in their eyes once someone is bad that must be bad to the core. Unfortunately or rather fortunately it is not the case in my situation.

I made some bad decisions which is a given and the reason for these bad decisions was my inability to control my gambling addiction period. Yes, I have a history of problems with gambling ever since I was 16 years old and it was all my fault for not seeking any help until 10 months ago. However; there is not a history of criminal behavior in that time.

People want to believe that everything is black and white. I believe the world is full of shades of grey. These shades of grade make certain things in life harder to understand. Because it is hard to understand does not mean it is false in fact in fact with diligent efforts these shades of grey have made me realize many things in myself. One of those things is doing the right thing each and every day. Doing the right thing means working the Program one day at time.

I believe there are people in this world who are very happy with themselves and see things very differently from me. This certainly does not make their beliefs wrong and on the contrary it does not make my beliefs wrong. This is the great thing about this country we don't behead people for having different beliefs in fact we (as a country) should embrace all sides of the equations. I think it was 400 or so years ago people set out for a better way and this better way became the United States of America. I know there are some things I don't believe in but I will never hold a grudge against anyone for holding these beliefs. Like I wrote previously I cannot control other people and I have my hands full controlling myself. This is why I concentrate on myself and the rest will work itself out.