Where to Start?

I don't know where to start? I was going to post a very heartfelt thank you to everyone for their tremendous love and support; however; events of earlier today have changed this post a bit. Although I do thank everyone for their love and support and I have had a wonderful extra forty days of "bonus" time I must report that I will still be around after tomorrow. Yes, you read that correctly I will still be around even though I was due for sentencing and few other matters tomorrow in court. There is still one unresolved issue which cannot be resolved and will not be resolved tomorrow due to some unforeseen circumstances so the sentencing cannot take place until this issue will be resolved.

I will not know when the next court date will be but I will find this out tomorrow. Tomorrow the only issue that will be discussed is the restitution amount. I have no idea how long this is going to take if it actually does go off but if it does I foresee a great deal of paper shuffling. Also; at this hearing will be two people who I have not seen in over one year and I apologize to them in advance for putting them in this situation. I was hoping to avoid this situation because it is not going to do anyone a bit of good no matter the outcome but the powers greater than me deemed it necessary to go through with their testimony.

I was a bit devastated by the news that I am not going to be sentenced tomorrow but at a later date. I do understand this is all out of my control and my Higher Power is not ready for me to be committed to prison. I know there is a purpose for all this madness but at the time I was given the news I felt my heart drop once again like it did forty days ago.

I doubt if the powers that be have any idea how all these delays are affecting me and others or if they even care. I suspect they are doing their jobs and caring is not part of the job description. But I can report that I have participated in 5 marathons and I have not felt this drained and tired in any of those marathons like I have when I received the news that I will NOT be sentenced yet again. I had to hear this news four times to have it finally sink in. When is it enough? I don't know when but I will keep doing what I have been doing in these past fifteen months which is enjoying and embracing each and everyday.

It looks like I will be given some more "bonus" time and hopefully I will get to see my daughter's end of the year class play on Thursday and my son's recital on Friday. These are true gifts in my life and although I thought I didn't believe I had a chance of seeing these events it looks like I may.

The hardest thing is explaining all of this to my eight year old daughter. She had it written on her calendar that I would be leaving on May 31st and my wife told her this evening that I will not be leaving tomorrow. She was filled with questions some of which my wife answered some she could not but when I got home from my Gamblers Anonymous meeting I did speak with my daughter and reassured her that everything is going to be okay. She was happy to hear I wouldn't be leaving tomorrow but she did want to know when I would be leaving. Unfortunately I cannot answer this question until hopefully tomorrow.

When I received this news from my attorney this afternoon I promptly got home and made many telephone calls because not getting sentenced tomorrow not only affected me and my family but 20 plus friends who were scheduled to attend the hearing. I called mostly all of them and apologized for the inconvenience because there was no reason for any of them to attend the restitution hearing. Everyone was very understanding even those who had taken a day off work so they could attend the hearing. I have had such fabulous support and now I am messing with their lives. I feel like the boy who cried wolf!!!

This will be the second time and it marks the upmteenth delay in my case. I believe the saying is justice is blind but they should also say justice moves at a snail's pace. I don't know what will happen after tomorrow in court but I do know I will continue living my blessed life one day at a time. Again I am so very sorry for all of the problems I have caused but I thank everyone for being so wonderful and helping me maintain my sanity. Because without all of these wonderful people in my life I would have gone insane by now and done something stupid. I don't intend to do anything stupid I intend to keep living a life with a positive purpose.