The Day After

Today being yet another Friday means “Yard Day”. I sure do miss my normal workout. No matter how fast I walk (since we are not allowed to run) I can’t seem to get the sweat I normally get during my workout. I am outside for an hour and a half and I fast –walk the entire time. Most of the other inmates stroll around the dirt path so during the entire time there is not one inmate who passes me. I certainly don’t want to come across as arrogant because by the looks of some of the inmates, they are definitely in better shape than me. However, when it comes to endurance I must be better at it.

I do feel myself getting out of shape even though I do my push ups and sit ups everyday along with the twice weekly hour and a half walk. I am hopefully looking forward to Fire Camp training because it is very physical. My test consists of the following: being able to run a mile in 9 minutes, being able to perform 10 pull-ups, 35 squat thrusts, 15 minutes of something like a stair-stepper machine, 2 miles of power walking and an undetermined number of push-ups. I don’t want to put the cart before the horse, but again I hope I am given the chance to tryout. The other alternative is called a Community Correction facility (CCF). These are privately run prisons by Wackenhut and are scattered throughout the state. The CCF’s are for low-risk offenders (hopefully me) and even have accommodations for vegetarians. In fact the veg side has a few more perks such as a big screen TV and popcorn during movie days.

According to my calculations, I qualify for both these programs. However, the determination is not up to me, it is up to yet to be counselor. I should be meeting with him in the next few weeks. He will make the determination of where I should be placed. Of course, I am leaning toward the Fire Camp because this would take an additional six to seven months off my sentence.

I really am having a hard time with my second year. Yes, this goes against everything I have learned in the GA program, but for some reason I cannot help myself from looking ahead. I believe it all goes back to the fact that I really thought the judge would sentence me to two years meaning only serving one. I figured I could do anything for one year and being away from my family wouldn’t be as hard. As we all know, this is not the case and I must prepare myself for an additional year. I am sure as I progress through the system and get into an actual program the time will move faster.

Today marks the end of my second week here which means I am one week closer to being with my family. As I have reported before, I have gone through the diagnostic evaluation but unfortunately nothing else. The next step is an education evaluation to determine what set of life skills I will need. There are some inmates who have less than a sixth grade education and they are given simple addition, subtraction, and English lessons. I was helping some inmates with their work and it was like helping my daughter with her first grade homework. It was truly very sad because the packet these inmates were given is designed to educate them. Since the counselors are so overwhelmed with the number of inmates, they cannot devote the time necessary to adequately assist these them. I do understand why so many return to prison because they truly do not know any better.

The mail call came again today at 3:00 pm and before I get into the mail call for today, I need to explain the system. Mail is sent out on Sundays through Thursday at 10:30 pm. Mail is received on Mondays through Fridays at 3 pm. I have no idea how long it takes for a letter sent by me because I have not received any responses to the letters I have sent out. Getting back to today’s mail call~ I did receive two letters from two more dear friends (thank you Jane and Phil) and although the mail wasn’t as overwhelming as it was yesterday, these pieces of mail made me feel so very good! One was sent from San Diego and it took only 3 days from the postmark date which was exceptionally fast. I did receive more writing paper (thank you Jane) and it really seems that I cannot get enough.

I have lost track as to how many hand-written pages I have sent for the blog, but it should be close to over 200 pages. All of these pages were hand-written with the first set in pencil from the county jail and the second set was written in pen which is running low on ink. Pens are very hard to come by and I am not sure if I can receive them from the outside. Maybe someone can check the website to see if pens are prohibited. (comment- from the typist – his mother – I remember hearing or reading somewhere that said “no” to pens, but I’m not 100% sure) As I mentioned before, I would be a complete basket case if I didn’t write on a daily basis.

I started this blog in April of last year and maintained faithfully up until my sentenecing date on July 12th. Thank God, my mother has been kind enough (his wife helped, too)
to type these into the blog. I know it has not been easy for her because she is not the best typist (!!!!! I do take offense to that, even though he’s right) and my writing certainly is not the most legible. I must thank my mom once again for doing this. Throughout my recovery the one of the constants has been maintaining the blog along with remaining abstinate from gambling. There are no GA, AA or NA meetings where I currently reside so I have to improvise with my program. I do know I have a fantastic foundation for the GA program and I try to practice these principles on a daily basis. I am fairly certain had I not entered the program a year and a half ago, I would have been in a mental institution and would have been certifiable.

I owe my life to the GA program and no matter how long I am incarcerated I will do my best to practice the principles of the program. I certainly miss the meetings and the fellowship that goes along with the program. However, with all the letters I have gotten from my friends and family, I do feel the love and friendship. It is truly amazing because here I am in a state prison one and a half years later, and I have more true friends now than I ever had in my life. I am a blessed person.