Holding Pattern

I am in a temporary holding pattern and the key word is temporary because no matter what we all think time stands still for no one. I have become heavily involved in Gamblers Anonymous even though I have only 64 days of abstinence. Last night another member and I went to an out of town meeting that is having a little difficulty. The town is about 40 minutes away in a depressed area. There were only 7 members including the two of us. A new member arrived and he showed how baffling and insidious this disease really is. Gambling starts out as fun then it is fun with problems and then it is just problems. Most people when they join GA are in the last phase; problems. Some problems are bigger than some but we all have the same story; no control over gambling.

Seven percent of gamblers are compulsive or pathological gamblers and gambling has the same affect on the brain as cocaine. Why can't we just stop?? Everyone has choices in life and I decided to gamble for 20 plus years and not until a catastrophe occurred I decided to stop. Some people cannot and will not understand this diseases. In my case I had to have my whole world crash down on me before I sought help. I was different, I was just INVESTING in sports betting. I was NO different I couldn't control what I was doing and this has caused pain to me and my family. It has taken 20 plus years of lying, cheating and stealing to get where I am. I don't expect all of that to go away overnight. It may take 20 plus years or I may never earn the trust and respect of my family again but I have to make my recovery work or it will be over for me. This may seem drastic but my clear choice is to not gamble today.