Email

I asked the producer of the Court TV documentary how he found out about me and he said I sent an email to the National Coalition Against Legalized Gaming (I am not sure why I sent my story to them but I am sure I was not looking to get on TV). The director from this council passed my email on to him and he called me after reading it. I wanted to share this email, here it is:

Dear David,

My first wager was at Pocono Downs Racetrack in Lycoming, Pennsylvania. It was a $2 show bet on the 4 horse in the 3 race. My mother convinced me to bet the horse to show because I had a better chance of winning. I took her advice and the horse won and paid $32 to win but $6.40 to show. I told my mother I would never bet to show again because I wanted to win the $32!! Also, 27 years of off and on gambling I never bet a horse to show!

When I was 16 years old a friend and I started betting on basketball games, $25 a game. We would bet with the manager that worked at the grocery store where I was working in high school. This particular manager lost everything due to gambling and he owed my friend and I $500 and never paid us. After this episode my friend and I thought we could make money betting sports. So we started to bet with a bookie who happened to be my girlfriend's (now wife) neighbor. We were 18 years old and lost $13,400 in one week betting on basketball. We started chasing our losses as soon as we were down $3,000. We were supposed to be cut off once we reached $3,000 but we convinced the bookie we were good for the money (which was a lie because we were both 18 years old and college students with no money!) and he let us finish out the week. We lost all control and ended up losing the $13,400. My Dad who was the Fire Department Captain in our town where the bookie lived and my cousin who was a New Jersey State Trooper bailed my friend and I out. They went to talk to the bookie and convinced him he was wrong taking that kind of action from two 18 year olds.

I was so scared from that episode that I didn't make a bet for the next 5 years. I graduated from college and started working at a very good job a Public Accounting firm in New York City and I started betting sports again with this same friend. All the while I never really won but loved the "action". The money part didn't matter it was whether I had something riding on a game. I couldn't understand how someone could watch a sporting event without having a wager on it. Yes, I was constantly chasing my losses and was never in control. I didn't know I was not in control because I was blinded by gambling. The "action" gave me such a rush that I would do anything and everything to make a bet. When I was 29 years old I declared personal bankruptcy due to my gambling losses. I had accumulated $88,000 in credit card debt to betting on sports. I had and will always have a sickness when it comes to gambling. I still didn't realize I had a problem because the bankruptcy allowed me to start over but I didn't seek treatment for the gambling addiction.

I didn't gamble for 4 years because my wife and I were putting the financial pieces back together and when we finally put all the pieces back together I started sports betting again. I was going to do it right this time. I paid people to give me selections on a daily basis and was going to treat it like investing. Not having self-control when it comes to sports betting I pretty much destroyed my life and the life of my family with my actions in the past 3 years. I got a great job in the casino industry, I was well respected but no one knew my secret life. I had to have action each day and that action came in the form of betting on football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, golf or whatever was going on that day. I was completely out of control and still didn't realize it. I finally realized it when I was confronted by my employer for embezzling and I finally confessed to the fact that I am and will always be a compulsive gambler.

I am in Gamblers Anonymous and I am approaching my 90 day abstinence mark but this is a life long journey. I have gone 4 and 5 years without gambling but I never received any treatment or attended any programs to help compulsive gamblers because I was unwilling to admit I had a problem. Now I get this addiction and accept the fact that I am not like normal people and cannot gamble like normal people and will never be able to gamble like normal people. The inability to control my gambling has destroyed my life and the life of my family, however, my wife for some reason is sticking with me and we will get through this. We have two wonderful children Lauren 7 years old and Jonathan 4 years old and I want to provide for them and see them grow into wonderful people.

Sincerely,

Paul

Hopefully, when the documentary airs some of my thoughts from above connect with one of the viewers and they will seek treatment before the gambling gets totally out of control. Compulsive gambling is such a progressive disorder (as witnessed by my own story and many others) and if not recognized and treated can lead to many bad things.

One final thought I spoke with my sponsor yesterday evening and told him about the interview and as always he was very supportive. He said something that made me feel very good, he told me "he was very proud of me and I am doing all the right things within my power". My sponsor has been in GA for 15 years, faced something very similar to my situation 15 years ago and if I can be half the man he is in 15 years I will be very happy.