"I Got Nothin!"

Quite frankly, Next Wednesday can’t get here fast enough. I am anxiously waiting that day. Yesterday, the fact that I will be released shortly became more real. Part of the parole process is the closing out of my Inmate Trust Account. When this journey all started some 19 months ago, my wonderful wife deposited money into this account so I could purchase things. Since I owe restitution, this was the only time money could be deposited in my account without 55% being deducted for that restitution. I was very fortunate because this was the one and only time anyone deposited money on my account. There was the time when I resided at the reception center that my mother sent me a $20 money order. This money order never made it to my account. In fact, other than having my mother tell me she sent the money order, I would have never known. I never pushed the issue as I thought it was better to practice the path of least resistance. Anyhow, the money my wife deposited over 1-1/2 years ago did sustain me along with the money I have earned through my various positions. Oddly, I will be walking out with more than the amount my wife deposited. This also includes a $200 check that all inmates receive when then are released.

I remember someone informing me about the $200 everyone receives when they are released and not believing them. I didn’t understand how the state could “reward” (if I would be so presumptuous to call a $200 check a reward) anyone for being incarcerated. However, upon further thought and personal experience, this money is oftentimes all a parolee has. In this environment at fire camp, everyone seems to have a job which does enable them to parole with some money. The guys on the fire crews who have been here for awhile do accumulate some money, and believe me, every little bit helps. This is the best place in the California prison system, and I am so grateful for my time here.

I signed a release form acknowledging that fact that I received the checks, and I will be given them on my release date next week. This is one of the steps in my parole process, and the final step should occur at the end of this week or early next week. This final step is confirmation of the “Warden’s Release.” Every inmate needs this in order to be released. Typically, this is available a few days prior to the release date. I have had my share of anxious moments as I moved through the system, so I am cautiously optimistic; however, seeing these checks does alleviate many of my concerns, and I will be released next week.

Yesterday was a beautiful day and more like spring than anything else. I went for a run of about 12 miles, which felt very good. Thankfully, I am able to put my mind in another place as I run, and over the past few months, I have been running listening to my radio through headphones. In the past, I wasn’t a big fan of running while listening to music. Now, I understand why most people run while listening to their IPods. Currently, I don’t have an IPod, and looking at my finances, purchasing an IPod is way down on the priority scale. My daughter does have an IPod so hopefully, when I see her again, she may let me borrow it. Another positive aspect of me being able to put my mind somewhere else while running is my running routine has been the same for the past nine months. I really enjoy the scenery, but I am ready for a change of scenery, which will occur very shortly.

The day was so beautiful yesterday that I took my lunch (yes, another peanut butter sandwich!) to the top of the hill and ate it while sitting with my roommate. Lately (which encompasses the last six months), my roommate and I have been spending a great deal of time together. I commented the other day that some married couples don’t spend as much time together as we do. I believe this to be true, but most times, we always seem to find something to talk about. On the rare occasions where we have nothing to say, my roommate will say, “I got nothing!” In my mother’s last letter, she wrote those same words as she struggled for things to say. She did manage to fill two typewritten pages, much like my roommate and me manage to talk for hours while having “nothin” to say. I am very happy to be able to spend this time with my roommate because I won’t be able to see him for some time after I parole. My roommate will have six months remaining when I parole, and my correspondence with him will be limited as is a requirement. I am not allowed to visit him while I am on parole, and if I were allowed, I would certainly come to visit him at least once a month to help break up his time. I know how important visits are, and this would have been great. Unfortunately, it is not possible, but we will keep in touch. He has helped me so much, and I do consider him a very good friend.

My next to last hamburger/hot dog Monday took place last night for dinner in the dining hall. As usual, my roommate came through with a great substitute, and now that I am able to receive what seem to be unlimited non-meat items, I had more than enough food. It is quite funny how the person who doles out the beans and vegetables really enjoys the fact I am able to receive multiple scoops. He loaded up my tray, and I tried to tell him that it was enough, but he continued and told me, “I am entitled to getting more.” I think this is a way for him to get back at the powers that be who normally limit the quantities of food served. We did have a filling dinner, and the night was the usual.

The early morning arrived, and there weren’t any controversies at the weight area. My roommate and I had a very good and thorough workout along with working out our cares. My roommate seemed to hurt his upper leg, but as he seldom does, he continued. We have two more full exercise cycles remaining until my release date as there are eight mornings remaining until my departure. It really is amazing how well everything continues to go. The rest of the day was the usual, but I have officially been replaced. Today was my replacement’s first dull day, and now I have been pushed to the back of the checkout line. This is positive as it also confirms my departure next week. I took my replacement through how I have cleaned the bathrooms over the past five-plus months. He was very excited about the job. That may sound strange; however, he has four months remaining and wants some “me” time in those four months. His reasons for talking the position are very much like my reasons were. I assured him he will have plenty of “me” time, and now his time is his own. The passing of the squeegee is on!