Happiness is the Way

I received an email thanking me for yesterday’s posting and I know this shouldn’t matter to me but this note of thanks made a big difference in my day. I write this blog (selfishly) for myself; however; there is something inside of me that secretly hopes the words in this blog may help someone. As I mentioned this blog is a part of my recovery and has become hugely therapeutic over the past three years.

I could very well type my thoughts and lock them away for no one to see but another large part of my recovery is accountability and these thoughts I write daily are part of that accountability. When I receive an email from someone thanking me for what I wrote it does make my day because it makes everything worth it. Often times I wonder if anyone reads these words and now I know at least one person read what I wrote yesterday and the words made sense.

Yesterday morning I was too exhausted to workout from the night before. I don’t have it in me to workout within 12 hours of the sessions. I knew when I went to sleep I wouldn’t be working out and I also knew I couldn’t exercise after work because I had something scheduled. That something scheduled was working with my sponsoree for the first time. This is my very first sponsoree as I didn’t feel that it would be prudent of me to take on anyone prior to my sentencing. Now thankfully my sentence has been served and I am able to be of service to the GA Program. An integral part of GA is sponsorship and my sponsor has been an immense aid to me over these past three years.

My sponsor went through a similar situation to me a number of years ago and knew what I was about to face. My sponsoree has also gone through a similar situation to me and I believe we do complement one another. We spent an hour going over some very good recovery topics and I shared my feelings about GA and recovery. We worked step one in the recovery program and it was a very good session. We carried the session over to dinner and we made some very good progress. This helps me as well as hopefully helping my sponsoree. The key to the GA Program is giving back and I have so much I want to give to GA and this is a very small part.

I was very enthused about our first session as we ended the evening. I went back home and before I went back home I spoke with my wife and children. My daughter was so funny when I spoke with her because in a very hushed voice she said, “Are you going to send Mommy flowers for Mother’s Day?” I had to laugh because she sounded so innocent and sincere. I made a smart comment which I am prone to do and my daughter does understand my humor but then I did tell her I sent flowers and they should be there tomorrow. My daughter was relieved to hear that flowers were being sent and she then told me my mother (her grandmother) gave her some money so she and my son could purchase flowers at school for my wife. My mother is so thoughtful.

The conversation with my family was wonderful even though my son wasn’t feeling so well. He didn’t go to school which is unusual for him; he had an upset stomach from the night before. My wife had to stay home from work with him because there wasn’t anyone available to watch my son. This is certainly one of the drawbacks of having a sick child but my wife had to stay home. My son sounds so sad when he is sick but he always says; “A little bit good,” when asked how he is feeling no matter the circumstances. This is so cute and it always brings a smile to my face. By the way my son doesn’t have the best diet in the world as it is probably the opposite of his sister who eats next to nothing. My son seems to eat everything in sight and the night before they were at a minor league baseball game where his snacks consisted of chicken nuggets, French Fries, funnel cake and dip n’ dots. This isn’t exactly healthy eating and there is no wonder why his stomach was upset.

My wife did mention he was feeling better but she kept him home from baseball practice for precautionary measures. The conversation was great and I was informed that if the weather is good they will be all going down to my sister-in-law’s house on Sunday for Mother’s Day and will probably go to the beach. That will be a wonderful and thankfully those “special” days are coming to end where we will all be a part. I guess Father’s Day will end the streak of us being a part which is a great thing.

I went home and read a little awhile before falling off to sleep. I did awake to workout and for some reason I had a somewhat restless evening of sleep. I kept waking up which has been unusual for me ever since my release over two months ago. I don’t know what it was but I do notice that on days where I don’t workout my sleeping is a bit restless so this may have had something to do with it. Anyhow I woke up and went to the gym. I had another one of my “leisure” days planned as my day consisted of playing golf after my workout.

I was invited to play golf by a friend and yes, I can call this person a friend. It is often times strange how things work out for the very best. I have known this person for almost ten years as our places of businesses were the same in Las Vegas and here in Southern California. I wouldn’t quantify our relationship as friends before today as we were more of “advanced” acquaintances. We did work for the same companies but never in the same departments. I believe we were always cordial to one another and I always thought this person had a great sense of humor but we never seemed to develop a friendship that is until today.

When I was sentenced and was at the County Jail I received a letter from a much unexpected source which was the person I played golf with today. This person not only wrote me while I was at the County Jail but every place thereafter. I looked forward to these letters because that great sense of humor showed through and today we had a very enjoyable round of golf.

Normally when I play golf the emphasis is on the golf game itself but not today. The emphasis was on talking to this very good person. I couldn’t tell you what my golf score was because we didn’t keep score because there was no need. This was an outing where two people caught up and I dare say a friendship has blossomed. This person still has that outstanding sense of humor and also a great outlook on life. The quote of the day was; “I don’t need to make a whole lot of money to be happy,” no, it wasn’t me who said this although I do believe this to be the case; it was my friend who has developed a peace of mind over the years. I had a wonderful time today and look forward to doing it again very soon.