Family Visit With My Wife

November 30th (Friday) – December 3rd (Monday)

Where should I start because every minute of the past three days has been exceptional? I got to spend that time with my wife without any interruptions. To say the weekend was great would not give it any justice. It started on Friday with the arrival of my wife. The visit started much like our previous family visit with the children back in July as my wife arrived an hour later than expected. Unfortunately, our dear friend who was kind enough to drive my wife experienced a dead battery which delayed their arrival by an hour. Thankfully, the jump was successful, and when I looked in the office, I saw my wife’s beautiful smile which brought an immediate smile to me. I quickly entered the office and greeted my wife with a quick kiss. She was smiling from ear to ear in spite of the technical difficulties of her arrival. I was more than happy to see her, and we proceeded with the check-in for the family visit. Everything went extremely smoothly, and within minutes, we were alone in the family visiting cottage where we embraced and kissed. My wife gets more and more beautiful with every passing day. She is a beautiful woman on the outside and most definitely on the inside. We held each other for a long time.

The bags were unloaded, and we again held each other. This was the first time we were alone in almost 17 months, and it was certainly a long time coming. I am so fortunate to be in a place where I am able to have these types of visits. Once again, this journey continues to work out for the very best. The day on Friday was cold and rainy. I could not have asked for better day weather wise because it was a great day to be inside. In fact, the entire weekend was very brisk by southern California standards. One of my neighbors deemed it “baby-making weather!” I can understand why he stated this, but for us, this doesn’t apply as our baby-making days ended almost seven years ago with the birth of our son. We most certainly did have a wonderful time.

That first day my wife did bring up the proverbial “elephant in the room” with the much needed discussion of our future. Back in July, we discussed possibilities regarding our future, but we really didn’t come to any solid agreements as to the future because where I could and could not parole to was in limbo. A month ago, or maybe more, I received word on a very promising job prospect in Las Vegas, and without really discussing it together, I went ahead and applied for a transfer of my parole to Las Vegas in hopes of this job opportunity panning out. When I spoke to my wife about this, I received a somewhat subdued reaction. I really thought the plan would be for me to reside in Las Vegas with our very dear friends from March until June when our children finish the school year. As the school year finished, my wife and children would join me. Well, my wife has other thoughts because she has become quite comfortable surrounded by family. We talked at length about this, and my wife is very conflicted. She had a whole list of questions, and we through that list. Unfortunately, I couldn’t answer any of those questions because they all called for speculation as there weren’t any definites yet. We did have a very nice discussion, and I am not one for pressuring my wife. My hopes are that we can all be reunited as soon as possible. I love my family with all my heart and soul. What I did was wrong in so many ways, and the consequences of my actions will continue even after I am released.

There is nothing I can do to change the past. I can only focus on today and believe everything will work out for the very best. We really didn’t come to any solution, but we did agree that a decision would be made by the time I arrived in Las Vegas (most likely in March) and the time the children finish school in June. There is a possibility that my family will remain in New Jersey until I complete parole which would be March of 2009. I really don’t like to think of this prospect because I don’t want to be away from my family that long. There will be visits, and I will see them more than I have seen them in these past 17 months. Also, I will be able to communicate with them much more often through the telephone and e-mail. It will not be as difficult as it has been, and although not the most ideal situation, we will make it work out for the very best. This is something in the future, so there is no sense in me dwelling on it, because it may or may not even happen.

With the “elephant in the room” properly disposed of, we had three blissful days. I made it a point to wait on my wife all weekend long. I did most of the cooking and all of the cleaning while my wife relaxed. This is the least I could do after subjecting her to a very bad situation. I did my best to make her feel comfortable, and we had a wonderful time. The food was exceptional and the company out of this world. We spent three blissful days together, and our biggest activity was playing scrabble!

It was wonderful spending those three days with my wife, and it does make me want to accelerate the next three months. My wife had such a great time she wanted to stay. I had such a great time I wanted to leave. Well, neither one of those were options for us because I still have time to serve, and I don’t think my wife could stow away. Monday morning came way too fast, and I had no idea 68 hours could go by that quickly. I sure didn’t want her to leave, but I will see her on February 27th which is right around the corner. If every three days go this fast, my release date will be here in the blink of an eye. Yes, it was Monday so quickly, and it was time for my wife to depart. Our very dear friend arrived to pick her up. Prior to their arrival, my wife and I hugged for a very long time. I love her so very much, and yes, I am still very sorry for what I have done to her and the children. It is moments like these that make me think of what I have put them through. No, I won’t harp on it or I would be a basket case. I am moving forward through recovery (thank God), and each day continues to be better.

The family visit with my wife had concluded this morning, and I had a wonderful time. I was very much looking forward to it, and it was everything I had envisioned and more. I was very sad to see my wife depart; however, the next time I see her (in a little over 12 weeks) I won’t be wearing orange, and it will be a glorious morning. The day is approaching, and in the meantime, I will keep on doing I have done for almost the past 17 months, which is living each day one at a time.