Day Before Christmas 2007

December 24

I have always enjoyed the day before Christmas more than Christmas Day. I guess it has to do with the anticipation of Christmas. Christmas Eve has always been a peaceful and tranquil day even though I may not have realized it as I was going through the day. Here I am about 3000 miles away from my family and what I wouldn’t give for being with them. Thankfully, this will be the last Christmas Eve I will be separated from my family. As I look back at the Christmas Eves of my past, I have to smile. No matter where I was, I was always with family until last year. I have come along way from then where I was miserable during the holiday. I couldn’t wait for those days to pass so it would be over. Quite frankly, I am looking forward to these days passing but I am no longer unhappy. I know, thanks to recovery, there will be many more “free” Christmas Eves and they will be spent with families.

For Christmas Eve dinner, my roommate who is an incredible chef, made one of the most delicious fish entries I have ever eaten. He made a Mahi-Mahi seasoned with peppers, jalapenos, garlic and other tasty seasonings. Here I sit in prison eating one of the most delicious meals I have ever eaten. I savored every bite as I have not experienced so much flavor in a long time. I do believe my roommate should become a chef when this is all said and done for him because he is an artist with food.

I had the opportunity to telephone my family as everyone was at my mother’s house. I spoke to seven different people in the allotted 15 minute timeframe. It sounded very lively when I called as they were getting ready to open presents. I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and I could feel the love across the telephone line. I may not have been there physically, but I was there in spirit. I won’t lie and say I didn’t have any thoughts of being there. I would have loved to be there, but I accept my current situation. I am fortunate that my situation is coming to a close in two months because there are others who have much longer to go. Some guys I have met have missed 13, 14, and 15 Christmas seasons with their families. I’m not sure how they do it, but I do believe it does come to accepting one’s lot. There aren’t a whole lot of options and accepting is the best way and more beneficial with dealing with each day especially on Christmas Eve.

Before my fall from grace, my wife and I would always have discussions regarding the Christmas holiday. I remember wanting to always stay home with the children and I didn’t look forward to the running around. Now, being in my current situation, I welcome the running around because it was actually spending time with the family. I could care less if I never received another Christmas present because my present is being with my family. In spite of being separated from my loved ones, I had a good day. I ended it with a great conversation with my roommate. What a difference a year makes and I suspect each year will continue to make a profoundly significant difference in my life.