The Good And The Not So Good

I came back into camp yesterday and decompressed. I really don’t feel like doing anything. There was yet another issue with the urine analysis test I was required to take upon entering camp. I won’t go into the boring details, but I can say that if it is not one thing, it is something else. I spent most of the day talking with my friends and reliving the fabulous weekend with my wife. Yesterday afternoon, I noticed my nose started running, and I came to find out that my roommate spent the last three days fighting a cold. Also, there seems to be many guys in camp with the same cold symptoms, so something is going around. I really didn’t think much of it and went about my day.

I spent the evening reading a “Runner’s World” magazine which my wife bought. I forgot how much I enjoyed this magazine as all the articles are superb. After finishing the magazine, I read some more of “Drop Slot,” and then I settled into bed. I had a strange encounter as I started to drift off to sleep. I was wakened and informed the trash containers in the bathroom needed to be emptied. I was half asleep during this encounter, but I did get the message. I got out of bed and emptied these trash containers. This was yet one of the endless examples of powerlessness. If not for anything else, powerlessness is my over theme for these past 17 months and ever since I entered recovery almost three years ago. This has been, and continues to be, a great lesson to me at every step of the way.

The trash was disposed of, and I went back to sleep. The running nose manifested itself into a sinus headache, and when it came time for me to get up and exercise, I thought better of it. Instead of exercising, I took a cold pill and stayed in bed. Just to think, 24 hours earlier I was waking up feeling great next to my wife, and now my head was throbbing with a runny nose. I felt a little better after taking the cold medication and went off to breakfast. I resumed my normal program, and in spite of the cold, everything was going along smoothly until I entered the office. I went into the office to get a pair of latex gloves, but much to my surprise, I was told there was a telephone call for me. Receiving telephone calls in here never seems to be a positive occasion. The firth thought that went through my head was my wife as she flew back last night. I hoped the telephone call didn’t have to do with her. Thankfully, it didn’t, which was good; however, the telephone conversation fit into the category of not so good.

On the telephone was the counselor. She called to inform me that the transfer of my parole would NOT transpire. The paperwork had been submitted to Jamestown for processing. As the folks in Jamestown were processing the paperwork, they noticed I owe restitution. Taking a step back, the question I always had was could I transfer my paroled to another state while owing restitution? I had heard from my sources that I could not; however, I have never seen anything in writing stating this, and I thought the counselor “forgot” about my restitution and that I am prohibited from transferring parole to another state because of the restitution. This is the reason why the counselor called me to inform me the paperwork CANNOT be processed due to the restitution.

I was a bit disappointed because I really thought I would have been informed that I could not transfer paroled at an earlier time. On the positive side at least, the counselor called now as opposed to the day before my parole date. This also means the discussion my wife and I had at the family visit is moot. Now, we need to enter into a new discussion because I can be bound to California for at the most 13 months and the least 6 months. As it stands now, I must remain in California for 13 months while I complete parole. It appears I cannot transfer my parole to any other state while I owe restitution. I don’t foresee paying off my restitution in 13 months, so I will have to reside in California for that period of time. I still have several questions regarding restitution which can only be answered by a parole officer. One of the questions is is my parole dependent on me fulfilling the restitution obligation and what happens at the end of 13 months?

I now have to come up with plan B. One of my very dear friends did offer me a place to live. I will have to take my friend up on this because I have no place to live. I will also have to come up with a plan to get a job. I do firmly believe everything will work out for the very best. Right now, there are a few challenges ahead, and the Las Vegas opportunity fit much nicer. Oh well, it does all fall back to being powerless to the situation I put myself in. I don’t have the option of transferring to another state even though I have a job opportunity and a place to live. I do have a plan that has been festering in my mind, and now I will have to put this plan in action.

I got off the telephone and did have feelings of disappointment. I must admit I was frustrated at this news, but as the day wore on, I accepted this news as something I cannot change. My cold also seemed to worsen during the day, but I did try to sweat it out in the afternoon as I hiked the hill. As I was hiking the hill, I was thinking about the whole parole issue and came to the conclusion this news will give me the kick I so needed to do what I would like to do. I won’t go into detail at this point in time, but I have written about this at an earlier time. Sure, it would have been much easier to move to Las Vegas and work at the Recovery Center while living with my dear friends. This option is no longer available, so it is on to plan B. I do wonder what my wife is going to say about all of this. Does it mean I will be without my family until March of 2009? Of course, I have no answers to these questions, but I do know life (specifically my life) has so many twists and turns; however, it always works out as intended. Sure, my intention was to move to Las Vegas, but apparently, someone (or something) has a different plan for me.