Going Solo

Yesterday afternoon I had the pleasure of telephoning my mother. I am very reticent to think about how much money my mother has paid for these collect calls over the past 16 months. I am sure it is in the thousands-of-dollars’ range. My mother has never even mentioned the cost and has always welcomed my calls. When I do sit back and think about how much money I have cost my mother and wife I could very well make myself sick. These calls are very expensive which is why I have limited myself to once call per week to my wife and one call per week to my mother. Yesterday, the plan was to speak with my mother for only 15 minutes. As we received the “60 second warning” and weren’t even close to wrapping up the telephone call, my mother suggested that I call back, and this is what I did. We spoke for a total of 30 minutes, which equates to a bill in excess of $30. I really don’t understand how in this day and age of low-cost long distance telephone service that it costs over $1 per minute for these collect calls. I am certainly a “captive” (pun intended) consumer, and the long distance carrier is capitalizing on this segment. It really is a shame how the long distance carrier seems to be preying on the inmates. The cost is so prohibitive I believe it hinders an inmate’s chances of reconnecting with their family. Of course, the saying, “If you don’t like it, don’t come to prison” applies. I certainly don’t like and will do everything in my power not to see this system ever again.

Anyhow, I had a wonderful conversation with my mother. It certainly is wonderful speaking with her, and I can’t wait to see her in two months. I did wish her a Happy Thanksgiving as I won’t be speaking with her on Thursday. Thinking about Thanksgiving is both bitter and sweet. The bitter part is obvious because, for the second year in a row, I won’t see my family for Thanksgiving, and I miss them dearly. The sweet part is knowing this is the last Thanksgiving Day I will be apart from my family and knowing I sill see my wife next week. Keeping these thoughts in mind will help me get through the holiday much better than last year. I am nearing the end of this journey, and yes, there are some obstacles such as Thanksgiving, my wife’s birthday, Christmas, my son’s birthday, and my daughter’s birthday to overcome in the next three months. I know I will get through each of these one day at a time. Realistically, three months ago was August, and I was on a fire crew, which feels just like yesterday. So there is no reason why the next three months shouldn’t go as fast.

The wonderful telephone call was over, and I will call her back this Saturday to see how Thanksgiving went. After the telephone call, I walked back to my room where I read the current edition of Men’s Health until it was time for dinner. Since there are crews from a visiting fire camp, dinner would be later than usual. I am all for later dinners because on the weekends we start eating at 5:00 p.m. I feel like I should be receiving the senior citizen’s early bird discount at this time! The weekdays really aren’t much better as dinner starts at 5:30 p.m. Maybe this is why I can’t seem to stay awake past 9:00 p.m. I am a senior citizen at the ripe old age of 42! I must admit these fire meals do raise the level of enthusiasm in the camp. Everyone (with the exception of my roommate and me) appear to love these fire meals, which is a positive. I did hear someone mention that the meal didn’t appear to be very good as the person was in line getting their food. I find these types of comments strange because here I am in prison, and the dinner is beyond bountiful. I know I pooh pooh these fire meals because of my peculiar eating habits, but every time I enter the dining hall I am amazed at what is being served. There are so many people out there in the free world who don’t have the opportunity to eat one-tenth of what was served. I am truly grateful to be here and not starve.

With dinner over, it was back to my room to listen to “60 Minutes” on the radio. One of the segments had to do with New York City requiring some fast-food restaurants to place the nutritional and calorie information on their menus. This is being done so the consumer can see how many calories are really in the meal. Apparently, there is some controversy regarding this (imagine that). Some franchises have complied, but the information is not displayed prominently. I know for my “freaky” self I would probably go hungry in a restaurant that labeled their entrees with the caloric and nutritional information. In my mind, a person who goes to McDonald’s could care less how many calories and how many fat grams are in a Big Mac. Let’s face it; if someone believes that is a low calorie meal, they have bigger problems than reading the nutritional information. I also understand there seems to be an obesity epidemic in the country, but it does come down to personal responsibility. The government does need to implement certain guidelines, but when it starts telling people what they should and should not eat, it has gone too far. Taking this a step further, this is analogous to compulsive gambling. I am a compulsive gambler, and I brought this on myself. The government has since outlawed internet gambling, but knowing me, I would have found a way around that; however, there does need to be programs in place to help the compulsive gambler and their families. This, I believe, is government’s biggest responsibility. The government believes it can protect the people, but in reality, the government should assist the people.

Enough of my political statement! After “60 Minutes”, my roommate and I took up a conversation between the two of us. The subbed came around to me and ho9w I am very reserved. My roommate believes there is more to me than send out. This could be the case, but pretty much what my roommate sees is who I am. I hardly ever talk about personal matters because I really don’t have anything to talk about. I have brought up some things recently, but for the most part, I am at peace. Now, I am not a monk or in a monastery order. Rather, I have gotten quite good at letting go. Yes, there are many unknowns in my life, but I choose not to dwell on these. I do my best to remain positive and upbeat, which is usually where my mind is 95% of the time. The other 5% I process and let go. I’m not sure if I articulated enough for my roommate, but it is how I feel. I am grateful for him because he is very much a large part of my peace of mind.
We did conclude the conversation and went to sleep. The early morning arrived and I was out of bed and running. There are days when it is a chore to get through those first five miles, and then there are days when it is effortless. Today was one of those effortless days. After showering, dressing, and reading, it was time for the fire meal breakfast. My roommate and friend were busy with the service but did join me to eat. As my friend sat down, I realized I would be solo in cleaning the bathrooms today. He is in training to take my roommate’s position because my roommate will have a different position in two months. This is great for both of them, and as for me, I will be going it alone. I hope I am not being melodramatic because I didn’t mean to be. I have been very fortunate over the past three months to work with two great people. Realistically, the bathrooms can be cleaned by only one person, and when I took the position, I had a feeling the day would come. Yes, it has come, and yes, I probably did more work today than I have in the past two months. Even though I did more work, I was still finished the noon count time, which is always my goal. I had only a few minutes to spare, but I made it. This means I still have my afternoons to myself. I will miss the conversations with my friend as we worked and had lunch together, but we will still get together later in the day. I don’t know what the plans or if I will ultimately have another person help clean the bathrooms or not. Whatever the case, I know I can do it by myself, and I am still having fun cleaning.