"Living by Thrift and Moderation"

Everything is moving right along, and last evening was, hopefully, the last fire-meal dinner of the season. I didn’t eat much and went back to my room where I ate the leftover Boca burger while trying to listen to “60 Minutes” on the radio. Since the broadcast is coming from San Francisco, there are good days and bad days. I tried to listen but became frustrated because of the static. I turned off the radio and read a recent edition of Men’s Health. This was the highlight of my evening along with the fact that I was able to talk with my roommate when he returned from the fire meal.

I am thankful for my roommate because we do speak almost every evening, mostly about the comings and goings of his day. We have agreed that there are so many bizarre things that seem o happen, and at times, I do feel like I am living in a Seinfeld episode. When we do speak about these, we do put things into perspective as this is a temporary experience for everyone. Everyone here has a release date, be it tomorrow or five years from now. Incidentally, the longest any inmate can serve at a fire camp is five years. Yes, there are some guys with 2011 and 2012 release dates. This does help put things into perspective, and having patience is most certainly a requisite. At this point for me, I would literally stand on my head for the next 100- and-some days, so I may be a little more temporary than others. I have reached a point where the little things (which are just about everything) do not bother me at all. I have developed a very solid routine (or program as it is known in prison jargon), and the days are passing soon enough. There have been some very slight blips in the road over the past two weeks that are not worth mentioning. All is very well, and I continue to be very grateful for this experience.

Sleep came fairly easily, and it was my usual sleeping pattern. As I ran this morning, my thoughts drifted to yesterday as it was the running of the New York City Marathon. My plan was to run this two years ago. Well, “things” happened, and that did not happen. It is my intention to run this next year, and it will happen. It is funny how much has happened in my life in the last three years, and all have been very positive. Once again, I am blessed with this awakening, and everything continues to work out for the very best.

It was on to, hopefully, the last fire meal breakfast and then on to clean the bathrooms. The highlight of my workday was my new squeegee which required a lot less effort and yielded much better results. The highlight of my whole day came while I was writing. The two deer who have been frequent visitors to the camp over the past few weeks came within 20 feet of me. They even glanced at me while continuing to look for food. They appeared very calm and peaceful. This was certainly a nature moment, and I was grateful for the serenity. This is yet another example of how everything continues to work out for the very best. I was sentenced almost 16 months ago, and this sentence was punishment for my misdeeds. The biggest form of punishment is being separated from my family, but I have been so fortunate to have been put in a place where deer can prance 20 feet away from me, and I am grateful.
This brings me to “Living by thrift and moderation” which is a verse in “Living the Wisdom of Tao.” I never espoused either of these virtues before recovery. There were so many interesting points in the verse such as, “When you cultivate a style of leadership that creates a good store of virtue, then nothing is impossible, for there are no limits.” Thanks to recovery, I am cultivating a good store of virtue, and I, too, believe nothing in impossible. Another interesting point, “People whose lives are run by rules, dogma, and fear can only do what they’ve been told to do and nothing more.” This sound like the methodology of prison, and in some ways it is; however, no longer will I succumb to fear. Fear has no place in my life. I am no longer fearful of my past, present, and future. I am on the right track and embrace each day, which I will continue to do one day at a time.