A Barber I am NOT!

My family has a long tradition of barbers. My Dad is a barber, his father (my grandfather) was a barber, his father’s father (my great grandfather) was a barber; however, I ended this tradition because I never had any desire to be a barber. My Dad never wanted me to be a barber, and I believe he is okay with the tradition stopping with him. It is a good thing my Dad never pressured me into becoming a barber because it is accurate to say the barber gene is NOT in my DNA! I wrote about an incident a few months ago where a fellow inmate asked me to square up the back of his hair, and I butchered that seemingly easy task. Well, the examples of me not being a barber don’t stop there. Unfortunately for my roommate, he learned first hand why I should never have a pair of electric clippers in my hand.

Yesterday afternoon, my roommate had the idea that he could cut his own hair. He had witnessed a fellow inmate do this and thought he could do the same. He borrowed the necessary equipment (electric clippers with several different lengths of attachments). He was doing a very good job cutting his hair, and he did ask me if I would help. I was a bit nervous knowing what I did last time but still wanted to help. I helped him with the back of his hair, and this went well. The problem arose when he asked me to trim around his ear. He took off the clipper guard which meant, if the full blade was used, it would take all the hair whereas the other clippers ranged in length from ¼ of an inch to 1 inch. Yes, I was nervous, but my roommate said, “Don’t be afraid.” With these words, I turned the clipper around my roommate’s ear and within less than a second, I said, “Oh shit!” Instead of using a fraction of the clipper, I used the whole clipper blade, and I took off a block of hair down to the skin around his ear. I did a very good job following his ear because the block of hair I took is the same contour of his ear; however, it looked terrible. I knew immediately I had done something wrong and there was no real way to fix it. We called in professional help, and that person who handles the clippers very well touched up my roommate’s hair, but even he couldn’t fix my mistake. The only way to fix it would have been to take all of his hair off the back of his head around to the other ear. My roommate was not willing to look like a “jar head” and now has to live with an inch of no hair around his right ear.

I felt so bad, and I must give my roommate credit because he smiled the entire time. I guess he had to smile or he would have killed me! Of course, what came next was the ridicule he would face from our less-than-sympathetic fellow inmates. It seems everyone around here notices everything, and his missing chunk of hair did not go unnoticed. Again, he laughed, and I felt terrible, but there was nothing I could do. I guess the positive side is his hair will grow back eventually. Judging by the amount of hair I took out, I guess it should grow back by the time I parole in February. This would be the last time my roommate ever asks me to help cut his hair! It really wouldn’t be too bad had I not gone all the way down to bare skin. It sort of looks like he had a growth removed above his hair which is why it was shaved to the skin. I told him I could do the other side to match, and we could name him Igor! He didn’t find the humor in this comment.
My lack of haircutting ability has been the talk of the camp for yesterday and today. I do think my roommate has gotten ridiculed more than me over the past day because it is so noticeable. I have been called the “Butcher” because that is exactly what I did to my roommate’s hair. I think I made matters worse this morning because, after we worked out, I was looking at the bald area and couldn’t help but say, “That looks terrible.” Well, if my roommate was self-conscious before this incident, I am sure it is now magnified significantly. Yes, it will grow back, but we both have to look at it every day before it finally grows back. Hopefully in a week or so, the shock value will wear off. A barber I am NOT!!!

I did profusely apologize to my roommate all night, and thankfully, he is a good-natured person. He did offer to cut my hair, and I told him that would be great but it would have to wait until after my mother comes for her visit. He wasn’t happy with this answer, and I am rethinking. I guess a worse-case scenario would be that he shaves off all of my hair. I doubt I would make a very attractive bald man, but in a few months, it will all grow back, and if cutting my hair makes by roommate happy, then so be it.

We went to sleep last night with my offering another apology. I didn’t have to worry about sleeping with “one eye open” because my roommate has a very good nature. I did feel terrible as I went to sleep and had some strange dreams. I awoke to do another workout with my roommate. From here, it was on to start my day. The breakfast today was a very nice treat of blueberry pancakes. I hadn’t had these in a very long time, and it was delicious. After breakfast, I did my usual routine and cleaned the bathrooms. One of my fellow inmates was very nice and volunteered his services to clean one of the showers. I thought this was very nice, and I was happy to have the assistance. The morning went by quickly, and it was lunchtime. I have been trying to figure out where I could fit in my running, and today, I ran at the lunch hour. I only ran for 45 minutes, but it was an excellent run. I pushed myself harder than I have in a while. The quicker pace was welcomed, and it was a nice addition to my day, not to mention, it made the lunch hour fly by!