Holidays Complete

The stretch started with Thanksgiving and ended yesterday with New Year’s Day. For all intents and purposes the holidays that I have been separated from my family are all complete. The only real family celebration remaining are my children’s birthdays in February. Yes, I won’t be with them on their actual birthdays but I hope to see them soon after in March. Worst-case scenario - I do plan on attending my daughter’s first communion in April. I have made it through the difficult stages and I am very much looking forward to my release next month which is coming shortly.

The warm winds were whipping up last night and I almost got blown away walking into the bathroom through the breezeway entrance. I guess this is a mini Santa Ana wind event as the temperature has risen and it was anything but cold last night. The heater in the dorm must not be on a thermostat because ever since it was fixed the heat keeps blowing out no matter how warm it is inside or outside. We do have to sleep with the window open because it is just too hot. This prison world is definitely filled with extremes as a month ago it was so cold in the dorm I needed three blankets and last night I didn’t need any.

Effective January 1, 2008 the fire camps are allowed to have weights and subsequently we inmates are allowed to lift weights. Nothing has changed since I last worked out with weights two days ago. The only difference now is we no longer have to hide them. It was the worst kept secret I have ever seen. Everyone in the camp knew there are weights but there were some “no-no’s” when working out such as stopping when officers were nearby. Now it is okay to workout and the area is officially called the “weight pile.” There is also another rumor stating that the camp is going to purchase real weights in dumbbells, bars, and weight plates. Supposedly, money has been set aside for each camp. My roommate has even done some research, but the proper approval has yet to be given. This could be very nice but the timing could be suspect. The State of California faces a tremendous deficit and is looking to cut from all its state run agencies most notably schools and prisons. I don’t know how well received an expenditure for weights in the prisons would be when certain school programs will be cut. I would be very surprised if the camp does receive the “weight” allotment by the time I am released next month. It would be wonderful to have some dumbbells I could actually lift with proper form but I can certainly wait another 8 weeks as I enter the free world.

I almost forgot to mention that I called my mother yesterday afternoon to wish her a Happy New Year. My wife told her about the great news from Sunday’s GA meeting. My mother was very excited for the job offer and me. As my mom pointed out everything is working out for the very best and Thank God for the GA Program. If it wasn’t for GA and the exceptional people in the Program, I would be at a total loss. It is all because of GA I am well on my way to recovery and an incredible life. My housing, transportation, and job are all tied to GA. Yes, if it wasn’t for the Program I would not be able to find my way.

The conversation with my mother was wonderful and as much as I try to say everything in the first 15 minutes, we inevitably go over just as we did yesterday. I had to call my mother back for another 15 minute allotment and another costly collect call. Since my mom will be here in 2 ½ weeks, my telephone contact with her should be lessened this month and hopefully this will save her money. My mother has been great throughout this whole ordeal and I could hear the relief in her voice along with so much excitement regarding my new job.

The temperature today was in the low 70’s and I enjoyed being in the warm sunshine watching the squirrels scurry around. I am so glad I have slowed down to really enjoy life. Dr. Dyer talks about being still and in the stillness comes wonderment. As I sit here very still I can hear the wind blow, the birds chirp, and the leaves rustle. I may not be in such a peaceful place physically for along time to come, but I intend to be in a peaceful place mentally and spiritually for a long time to come.