Those Darn Telephone Calls

Once a week I call my wife since the cost is so prohibitive to call more. Yesterday afternoon, I was able to speak with my wife and daughter. My son was unavailable because he was over at a friend’s house. Sometimes, speaking on these telephones is often difficult for a variety of reasons. I am grateful to be able to speak with my wife on a weekly basis, but sometimes, like yesterday, the conversations don’t seem to go well. Yes, the conversation yesterday didn’t go so well, and it was one of those darn (actually damn!) telephone calls. I have 6-1/2 weeks remaining on my sentence and my wife is feeling serious financial stress. It is amazing how, as much as my wife tries to keep this stress from our children, it still permeates to them. Both my wife and daughter were in tears as we talked yesterday. The tears came from different reasons, but nonetheless, it was very difficult hearing their emotions. Unfortunately, I am in no position to do anything to help alleviate the financial stress I created. I can only listen and hope to cheer them up. I was successful turning my daughter’s tears into laughter, but I have a long way to go to alleviate my wife’s financial pressures. I believe I did my best to listed and lend an ear as my wife spoke. I firmly believe everything will continue to work out for the best; however, right not it certainly doesn’t seem that way for my wife. She has gone the past 1-1/2 years doing her very best. I just need her to hang in there because at the end of next month I can finally start helping.
It was a difficult time on the telephone, and my wife is so selfless she said, “I hope you aren’t upset by what I said.” My wife has tried to protect me from the mess I made because she thought I had enough to deal with by going to prison. I still want to know everything that is going on, both positive and negative. I am in a powerless situation to help financially, but I hope to help emotionally. This has been very difficult on my wife, and I want to make everything better. The fact of the matter is I can’t make all those problems I caused go away. I am doing my best through recovery, and come February 27th, I can start putting the pieces back together. Up until that time, I am here to listen and to be sympathetic.
I was fortunate with the telephone call because the bail bonds company helped facilitate those phone calls. I needed to call on three separate occasions and was able to do so with no cost to my wife. I needed this extra time to spend with my daughter and make her feel better. Her birthday is coming up next month, and she is planning on going into New York City to the American Girl store. Fortunately, my daughter understands the value of money and is not looking for anything more when she visits the store to have lunch. I believe she will have a wonderful time, and later on in February, her cheerleading troupe will be cheering at a New Jersey Nets game. She wanted to know if I would be able to watch the game on television so I could see her cheer. I gave her no guarantees, but I did say I would try. I can tell she really wants me back as she said her friend is looking forward to meeting me. I am so ready to be back in my daughter’s life and my family’s lives. This is going to happen in due time.
I also explained to my wife about having me possibly fly back with her to New Jersey after my release. I did tell her that, if she didn’t have the funds for the airline ticket, she should remain in New Jersey. My wife certainly wants to be the one to pick me up on my release date, and she will do everything within her power to be here. It would be wonderful to be with her on my release date, and the situation will work out. If for some reason she cannot make it, I have already had several dear friends offer to come and pick me up. I am so blesses, and the love in my life is immeasurable.
The telephone calls weren’t as good as I would have hoped, but this is the way it goes. There will be many more ups and downs as I progress to the new beginning; however, the ups will exceed the downs since I will be back in the free world. The financial situation will take care of itself, and we will work through it together. I just want the emotional tone of my family to focus on the positive, and this will happen for the very best. As I said goodbye to my wife, she sounded a bit better from when we started the telephone call. I certainly can’t wit for the day I can hold (hug) my wife and tell her everything will be okay because it certainly will. We’ve made it this far, and as long as I stay committed to recovery, our lives will continue to get better and better.
Today, I took the early morning exercises off and relaxed. My body needed the day off, and I obliged by remaining in bed the extra hour. I did not got to breakfast because I was planning for the GA meeting/visit. The wonderful group of dear friends arrived very promptly as visiting opened. This is very usual for them, and I walked down to the visiting center with a smile on my face. I arrived just as my dear friends were setting up. They bring so much food in the form of goodies that there wasn’t much spare room on the picnic table. These meetings/visits are wonderful, and today was incredible. The sharing was magnificent, and I will miss these meetings/visits when our sessions run out with my release. The key concept behind Gamblers Anonymous is people helping people recover from their gambling addiction.
Experience, strength, and hope are also key concepts in the GA program, and these meetings/visits are filled with so much of this. It was a beautiful morning weather wise, and it was made even more beautiful with the meeting/visit. I enjoyed, as I always do, every second of the morning. The group was made up of five of us, and everything was fantastic. I love these dear friends so much, and I am so happy to be a member of GA. There are only three more meetings/visits remaining, and I look forward to each one. This is a huge part of my recovery, and this certainly has given my recovery a boost.
The incredible meeting/visit came to an end, and I found myself watching the football games most of the day. The games were very surprising and also very good. I am so glad to be able to watch the games as a fan. I enjoyed the games, and my son’s New York Giants even pulled of the upset over the Dallas Cowboys. I thought about my son the entire time watching in amazement as the Giants played very well. They live to play next week against the Green Bay Packers and face a tough foe. Win or lose, I will enjoy watching that game and talking to my son about his favorite team. Once again, it was a great weekend, and I have only six more remaining, Yay!!!