Reducing Emotional Stress

Yesterday evening I received my first ever New Year’s card. The card was sent by my very thoughtful sister. I had no idea there were even New Year’s cards but upon second thought there seems to be cards for every occasion so why not New Years! In the card was a very lovely letter and my sister wrote that she has once read the physical act of writing helps reduce emotional stress. This is why many therapists and 12 step programs advocate writing one’s own thoughts. It really doesn’t matter whether the letter is read or not, the key is the physical act of writing. I had not heard of this before but from my personal experience I can say this is very true. I have written thousands of pages in the almost past 3 years and each time when I am finished writing I always feel so much better. It is most certainly a release and is a therapeutic tool for me. My sister went on to say that she didn’t know if the same brain chemicals are released when typing but again from my personal experience I felt great after typing passages that is back when I could type. I do look forward to getting behind a computer keyboard because my handwriting is atrocious. I would have thought with all the writing I have done over the past 18 months my handwriting would get better but I think it has only gotten worse. I do believe my 6 years old son has better penmanship then me. Anyhow, whether writing or typing it has always been a release for me.

Speaking of writing I have planned on writing a book about my experiences. I have gotten as far as writing the outline but no further. I certainly have had the time but I have neglected this. I can only come up with lame excuses as to why I have not started writing and the first lame excuse is the fact that I have to handwrite if I were to start now. I do believe it would be so much easier (not too mention legible!) to type my thoughts as opposed to handwriting. Yes, it is a lame excuse and another lame excuse is the fact that the “spirit” has yet to hit me. I don’t want to force it just because I have the time. I want it to flow and when the time is right I will start. If it takes me 10 years to complete then so be it. I am not writing the book as a way of generating money. My intentions to write the book have always been to help one person. If it helps one person that would be great. Yes, not writing or starting to write the book has weighed heavily on my mind but I am still no closer to starting it. Oh well it will happen.

No much is happening. I received the lovely card and letter from my sister. I wrote 5 letters yesterday and had to borrow 5 more stamps. I am even running out of envelopes as I have only 3 remaining. I do have plenty of paper and pens so I can still write but they may not go anywhere. I am sure there are stamps and envelopes in route and worse case scenario I can mail everything out in 7 weeks.

Last night was more of the same as my roommate, I, and a few of our fellow inmates had a few discussions. My roommate and I rarely leave our room in the evening but sometimes we have visitors. Last night we had a few visitors and it is always good to listen. I try to learn from these discussions and this is usually the case. I learned that I am very fortunate to have so many loving and supporting family members and friends. I do know I have so many blessings in my life and my life continues to get better. I am very grateful for everyone and everything in my life.

I was tired last night and fell asleep quite early even by my standards. I had a few strange dreams which featured my roommate, my son and several people I did not recognize. It was a strange dream and when I woke up my mind was going. I couldn’t turn my mind off and thankfully these were all positive thoughts. I guess as I get closer to my release date it will get more difficult to turn off my brain. This isn’t necessarily bad because I am very excited to re-start my life. I do need to take it day by day which is the only way to arrive at my release date. This is a very exciting time but in the meantime I will continue with my daily routine. The rest of the day was the usual as I cleaned the bathrooms. I believe my replacement has been found and most likely one week to my release date the replacement will start. This would be a training period and really no training is necessary all anyone needs to know is how to clean. It certainly is not rocket science so I am sure he will pick it up quickly and for that last week I will have a helper. Until then I will continue doing what I have been doing.

I received my first issue of Runner’s World today and it is so nice they give out the magazines at 1:00pm instead of having to wait until mail call in the evening. I perused through it quickly (I will read it in-depth later) and I felt very motivated. My plan was to run 3 more marathons when I am released. I don’t know the feasibility of running the Los Angeles Marathon 4 days after I am released so it may have to wait until next year. There are costs involved and quite frankly I don’t have the extra money (Heck, make that; I don’t have the money!) Also I love the fact knowing my wife and children would be waiting for me at the finish line. This wouldn’t happen if I were to run it this year. I will see how it goes but I may just set my sights on the New York Marathon in November. I do enjoy reading Runner’s World and it was so thoughtful of my wife to subscribe to it for me as a Christmas present.

The only other interesting item I heard today was California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger released his revamped budget to address the states $14 billion deficit. The two notable items were public education would be cut by 10 percent which amounts to $1 billion and the governor is proposing to release 35,000 non-violent inmates which would theoretically save the state $1 billion. These are just proposals and the State Legislators have 45 days to ratify the proposals. I found the timing somewhat ironic because I have 47 days remaining on my sentence and it would be funny if 2 days before I am release the Legislators approve the Governor’s plan. This could mean I would get out 2 days early. Hey, 2 minutes early is a release for me so I would happily take it. I doubt if I would be effected at all because even if this proposal is ratified, releasing 35,000 inmates is no small task. I would imagine this would take place in stages. Hopefully my roommate is affected because he would still have 6 months remaining to serve when I am released. It will be interesting to see what if anything happens. I do know I am being released on February 27th which is coming quickly.